Reply to my husband is a terrible gift giver and it bums me out each year

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Reply to "my husband is a terrible gift giver and it bums me out each year"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I found myself on here I see years later from the original post because I am now feeling the same way. My husband doesn't put effort into buying me gifts.  He just buys gifts and this year he is supposedly buying a shared gift. I don't want to share my gift. If its shared then it's really for him I feel because he could have gotten this shared gift today with me and not for me and him for Christmas. We have been together 8 plus years, I ask for nothing all year every year. I even told him he doesn't have to get me a gifts  Valentines Day because I just don't care about that. However, Christmas is my favorite holiday. I would like something thoughtful. I don't care about costs. I care about feeling like someone put effort into something. Honestly, he just doesn't put effort into anything really. I feel alone sitting next to him and the fact that he bought a shared gift and thinks it is ok just intensifies how alone I am in this marriage. I don't know what to do because he is a good man, husband, and father. I have never had any martial issues besides the fact that I feel alone being with him. I have told him this so many times and nothing has changed😔. What else can I do to change this or get it through to him?[/quote]

Tell him how you feel. Tell him that Christmas is your favorite holiday and you would really like a special gift just for you, not a shared gift. Give him a few ideas - a purse, a watch, nice headphones, whatever floats your boat.

But also, it kind of sounds like this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You say that he is a good man, husband, and father, but he's oblivious in this one area, which causes you to feel alone and not seen. And your feelings are your feelings, and I don't mean to invalidate them. But you could also tell yourself a different story . . . you could tell yourself that he simply doesn't view presents the same way that you do, and he just isn't understanding what it means to you. You could really root yourself in your belief that he loves you and wants to make you happy, and you could broach this subject from that place.
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