Reply to WWYD? Being asked NOT to bring a new spouse and children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think in most cases the grandparents recognize they are in a difficult position after the divorce of their child and grandparents go out of their way, wringing their hands, to try to be neutral and get everyone to show up and enjoy each other's company at family events.  It is not a normal human reaction for a parent to turn against their child over even infidelity.  Telling a grandparent you won't come unless they exclude your parent/their child is an unkind gesture to your grandparent, who, more than anyone, wants to love and support all parties.  So, find another outlet for your hard feelings.    [/quote]

So, it's up to the young adults to suck it up and make sure the optics are still good. They need to put aside their hurt and comfort to make the two cheating adults feel better about themselves? Some family values! I guess it was too much to ask for the adults to do the right thing so we can only hope their children are better people. [/quote]

The whole point about the post-above is that you're putting the host in a bad position.  No grandparent wants to choose between their child and their grandchild.  They're going to feel very distressed and resent whomever asks them to make a choice.  If, as an ACOD, you don't want to go, just make up an excuse and don't go.  Otherwise, you're playing the role of a bully on a power trip and your grandparents are in your direct line of fire.

I suspect this is a troll post by an ACOD who is contemplating boycotting a family party.  The OP's story and later disclosure is entirely unbelievable.  [/quote]

The dad and his AP are the ones who put the host in a bad position. It's not everyone else's fault if they're unwilling to be a doormat about it. And the grandparents need to look at how they raised their son.

Again, this is all because the OP read a text message that wasn't intended for her. As all ACOD know, don't ask questions or go snooping unless you're sure you want to know the answer.[/quote]

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