Reply to Anyone else lose their groove during Covid with young kids and still not have it back?

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[quote=Anonymous]Thanks for this thread. I was pregnant (high risk) and had a 3 year old with severe asthma during COVID and we also moved in the middle of it and the whole experience broke me. I try to put on a good face but teleworking for multiple years with DH and one or more kids home while under so much stress with no or limited or not great childcare has destroyed me. I feel like I lost all my friends, I miss going into the office and being away from my husband, my husband got super controlling and had become really angry and antisocial and has no interest in making friends in our new community, I missed out on precious family time with my aging parents, and I just generally feel isolated and like a shell of the woman I was before having children.

We lost so many friends during COVID and I feel like I have no friends any more. it’s a fight just to get DH to step up and watch the kids a few times a year so I can go out and see the handful of women I am Still in touch with so I don’t know how to branch out because I feel tethered to my home.

Both my kids have recently been diagnosed with special needs and have behavioral issues that dominate our day to day, my career ambition has dried up entirely, I’m overwhelmed by my children’s behavior and my husband’s anger issues, and I feel like I have to be the calm parent to counter him, except inevitably I crack from the strain and lose my shit too. I’ve suggested couples counseling and he refuses. I can’t figure out how to get to counseling myself - either I can’t find anyone with openings or I can’t make the time with my demaning work schedule. Self care for me is the bottom of my to do list. I haven’t had a regular exercise habit in years and barely can manage to get my teeth cleaned. Which is crazy to me because I used to be fit, workout daily, etc. I feel overwhelmed much of the time with my life, though my work colleagues never would
Know because I lead my team and somehow manage to keep it together at work.

So yeah, COVID broke me. I don’t go around advertising this to anyone or even speak about it and I try to look like I have myself together, but behind closed doors our family is a mess and I feel like I’m a shell of who I once was.

And yes, I’ve thought about divorce. But I can’t afford to keep my two special needs kids in their schools where we are if we divorced, and we can barely afford our life right now with a combined income, and I have no
Family support here and very few friends for support (most of whom aren’t super close), and the idea of seeing my kids half time makes me feel ill so I’m trying desperately to make our relationship work even though I often don’t recognize my husband anymore. [/quote]

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