Thanks for this thread. I was pregnant (high risk) and had a 3 year old with severe asthma during COVID and we also moved in the middle of it and the whole experience broke me. I try to put on a good face but teleworking for multiple years with DH and one or more kids home while under so much stress with no or limited or not great childcare has destroyed me. I feel like I lost all my friends, I miss going into the office and being away from my husband, my husband got super controlling and had become really angry and antisocial and has no interest in making friends in our new community, I missed out on precious family time with my aging parents, and I just generally feel isolated and like a shell of the woman I was before having children.

We lost so many friends during COVID and I feel like I have no friends any more. it’s a fight just to get DH to step up and watch the kids a few times a year so I can go out and see the handful of women I am Still in touch with so I don’t know how to branch out because I feel tethered to my home.

Both my kids have recently been diagnosed with special needs and have behavioral issues that dominate our day to day, my career ambition has dried up entirely, I’m overwhelmed by my children’s behavior and my husband’s anger issues, and I feel like I have to be the calm parent to counter him, except inevitably I crack from the strain and lose my shit too. I’ve suggested couples counseling and he refuses. I can’t figure out how to get to counseling myself - either I can’t find anyone with openings or I can’t make the time with my demaning work schedule. Self care for me is the bottom of my to do list. I haven’t had a regular exercise habit in years and barely can manage to get my teeth cleaned. Which is crazy to me because I used to be fit, workout daily, etc. I feel overwhelmed much of the time with my life, though my work colleagues never would
Know because I lead my team and somehow manage to keep it together at work.

So yeah, COVID broke me. I don’t go around advertising this to anyone or even speak about it and I try to look like I have myself together, but behind closed doors our family is a mess and I feel like I’m a shell of who I once was.

And yes, I’ve thought about divorce. But I can’t afford to keep my two special needs kids in their schools where we are if we divorced, and we can barely afford our life right now with a combined income, and I have no
Family support here and very few friends for support (most of whom aren’t super close), and the idea of seeing my kids half time makes me feel ill so I’m trying desperately to make our relationship work even though I often don’t recognize my husband anymore.

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Anonymous wrote:Can you hear yourselves? You criticize a poster for putting off pregnancy during the pandemic and now you're criticizing a poster for not putting off pregnancy during the pandemic?

IOW, every decision a woman makes is a bad one. She's always wrong and it's always her fault.

Lol this is the person who had a third child “during Covid”. Thank you, and I agree with you.

I won’t even comment if our third was planned or not, because either way it wasn’t the child who made 2021 miserable-it was the Covid policies. I had my second child while in the same graduate program and was back on campus five days postpartum, so I have a direct comparison that validates the negative impact of Covid policies.

Moreover, was Covid “over” in 2021 (thus making getting pregnant in early 2021 not unreasonable to these people) or was Covid “not over” in 2021 (thus proving that the people dismissing the Covid effects in 2021 wrong)? Lol the woman hating women are like a meme at this point.

You’re linking your PPD with delivering the baby in a mask? That is actually certifiable.

You can thank my beloved OBGYN who was the one who pointed out the connection at my 6 week postpartum appointment. Lol if your next response to a random internet poster who had PPD is to attack to my OBGYN, I’m sure you’re a real favorite amongst your social circles.

You’re the one that is making mountains out of molehills. I bet the people in your life roll their eyes every time you open your fat trap.

DP. I also had to birth my third child with a mask and it was pretty stressful. My first 2 births went quickly and smoothly. My third birth, however, took a very long time. Over 24 hours and I do think the stress of constantly being made to mask when someone came in the room, and just generally treated much more coldly because my doctor was very extreme about COVID precautions did not help my body relax. Also, my husband had a cold at the time and I kept fearing they were going to kick him out because of the “No COVID symptoms” rule even though we had done a swab at home and he was negative. So every time he coughed I got scared the nurses would kick him out and I’d be in labor totally alone.

I then ended up with an infection from laboring so long that I was feverish and delirious. My BP and oxygen levels weren’t great so my doctor ended up having me take my mask off to wear an oxygen max and that is when my body finally relaxed.

I can’t help my body’s physiological response (and I was someone who diligently masked before getting vaccinated). But I shouldn’t be surprised that posters on here are all too quick to dismiss the experiences of birthing mothers.

I've worn a. Oxygen mask and it was one mlion times worse than a paper mask!

I used the oxygen mask in 2008 and it was heaven. I loved it and wished I had that at home!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you hear yourselves? You criticize a poster for putting off pregnancy during the pandemic and now you're criticizing a poster for not putting off pregnancy during the pandemic?

IOW, every decision a woman makes is a bad one. She's always wrong and it's always her fault.

Lol this is the person who had a third child “during Covid”. Thank you, and I agree with you.

I won’t even comment if our third was planned or not, because either way it wasn’t the child who made 2021 miserable-it was the Covid policies. I had my second child while in the same graduate program and was back on campus five days postpartum, so I have a direct comparison that validates the negative impact of Covid policies.

Moreover, was Covid “over” in 2021 (thus making getting pregnant in early 2021 not unreasonable to these people) or was Covid “not over” in 2021 (thus proving that the people dismissing the Covid effects in 2021 wrong)? Lol the woman hating women are like a meme at this point.

You’re linking your PPD with delivering the baby in a mask? That is actually certifiable.

You can thank my beloved OBGYN who was the one who pointed out the connection at my 6 week postpartum appointment. Lol if your next response to a random internet poster who had PPD is to attack to my OBGYN, I’m sure you’re a real favorite amongst your social circles.

You’re the one that is making mountains out of molehills. I bet the people in your life roll their eyes every time you open your fat trap.

DP. I also had to birth my third child with a mask and it was pretty stressful. My first 2 births went quickly and smoothly. My third birth, however, took a very long time. Over 24 hours and I do think the stress of constantly being made to mask when someone came in the room, and just generally treated much more coldly because my doctor was very extreme about COVID precautions did not help my body relax. Also, my husband had a cold at the time and I kept fearing they were going to kick him out because of the “No COVID symptoms” rule even though we had done a swab at home and he was negative. So every time he coughed I got scared the nurses would kick him out and I’d be in labor totally alone.

I then ended up with an infection from laboring so long that I was feverish and delirious. My BP and oxygen levels weren’t great so my doctor ended up having me take my mask off to wear an oxygen max and that is when my body finally relaxed.

I can’t help my body’s physiological response (and I was someone who diligently masked before getting vaccinated). But I shouldn’t be surprised that posters on here are all too quick to dismiss the experiences of birthing mothers.

I've worn a. Oxygen mask and it was one mlion times worse than a paper mask!

Motherhood is just hard. We all struggle differently. I think OP would have gotten different responses if she had titled her post differently. Covid has been over for years. OP’s struggles are everyday mom struggles. I struggle daily. My struggles change. Compared to having a kid in and out of the hospital and having surgeries as an infant, Covid was no big deal for me. It was lonely being home alone but we tried to make the best of it and just recently in the past year, I have made a lot of new friends who were eager to meet new people. I have new struggles with my oldest kids now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you hear yourselves? You criticize a poster for putting off pregnancy during the pandemic and now you're criticizing a poster for not putting off pregnancy during the pandemic?

IOW, every decision a woman makes is a bad one. She's always wrong and it's always her fault.

Lol this is the person who had a third child “during Covid”. Thank you, and I agree with you.

I won’t even comment if our third was planned or not, because either way it wasn’t the child who made 2021 miserable-it was the Covid policies. I had my second child while in the same graduate program and was back on campus five days postpartum, so I have a direct comparison that validates the negative impact of Covid policies.

Moreover, was Covid “over” in 2021 (thus making getting pregnant in early 2021 not unreasonable to these people) or was Covid “not over” in 2021 (thus proving that the people dismissing the Covid effects in 2021 wrong)? Lol the woman hating women are like a meme at this point.

You’re linking your PPD with delivering the baby in a mask? That is actually certifiable.

You can thank my beloved OBGYN who was the one who pointed out the connection at my 6 week postpartum appointment. Lol if your next response to a random internet poster who had PPD is to attack to my OBGYN, I’m sure you’re a real favorite amongst your social circles.

You’re the one that is making mountains out of molehills. I bet the people in your life roll their eyes every time you open your fat trap.

DP. I also had to birth my third child with a mask and it was pretty stressful. My first 2 births went quickly and smoothly. My third birth, however, took a very long time. Over 24 hours and I do think the stress of constantly being made to mask when someone came in the room, and just generally treated much more coldly because my doctor was very extreme about COVID precautions did not help my body relax. Also, my husband had a cold at the time and I kept fearing they were going to kick him out because of the “No COVID symptoms” rule even though we had done a swab at home and he was negative. So every time he coughed I got scared the nurses would kick him out and I’d be in labor totally alone.

I then ended up with an infection from laboring so long that I was feverish and delirious. My BP and oxygen levels weren’t great so my doctor ended up having me take my mask off to wear an oxygen max and that is when my body finally relaxed.

I can’t help my body’s physiological response (and I was someone who diligently masked before getting vaccinated). But I shouldn’t be surprised that posters on here are all too quick to dismiss the experiences of birthing mothers.

Your third birth story sounds like a nightmare. I’m not trying to discount your bad experience but many women have horrible delivery experiences. We know a few whose husbands didn’t make the birth because the baby came too fast. One was waiting for childcare for the two siblings and had the baby in their home. Giving birth is often difficult. My friend nearly died losing so much blood.

I’m sure one day you can tell the story of the time you had to wear a mask during labor and how awful it is the same way mh friend could say she had a c section and felt so much pain. Or how my friend couldn’t even get an epidural because the hospital was short on anesthesiologists that day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you hear yourselves? You criticize a poster for putting off pregnancy during the pandemic and now you're criticizing a poster for not putting off pregnancy during the pandemic?

IOW, every decision a woman makes is a bad one. She's always wrong and it's always her fault.

Lol this is the person who had a third child “during Covid”. Thank you, and I agree with you.

I won’t even comment if our third was planned or not, because either way it wasn’t the child who made 2021 miserable-it was the Covid policies. I had my second child while in the same graduate program and was back on campus five days postpartum, so I have a direct comparison that validates the negative impact of Covid policies.

Moreover, was Covid “over” in 2021 (thus making getting pregnant in early 2021 not unreasonable to these people) or was Covid “not over” in 2021 (thus proving that the people dismissing the Covid effects in 2021 wrong)? Lol the woman hating women are like a meme at this point.

You’re linking your PPD with delivering the baby in a mask? That is actually certifiable.

You can thank my beloved OBGYN who was the one who pointed out the connection at my 6 week postpartum appointment. Lol if your next response to a random internet poster who had PPD is to attack to my OBGYN, I’m sure you’re a real favorite amongst your social circles.

You’re the one that is making mountains out of molehills. I bet the people in your life roll their eyes every time you open your fat trap.

DP. I also had to birth my third child with a mask and it was pretty stressful. My first 2 births went quickly and smoothly. My third birth, however, took a very long time. Over 24 hours and I do think the stress of constantly being made to mask when someone came in the room, and just generally treated much more coldly because my doctor was very extreme about COVID precautions did not help my body relax. Also, my husband had a cold at the time and I kept fearing they were going to kick him out because of the “No COVID symptoms” rule even though we had done a swab at home and he was negative. So every time he coughed I got scared the nurses would kick him out and I’d be in labor totally alone.

I then ended up with an infection from laboring so long that I was feverish and delirious. My BP and oxygen levels weren’t great so my doctor ended up having me take my mask off to wear an oxygen max and that is when my body finally relaxed.

I can’t help my body’s physiological response (and I was someone who diligently masked before getting vaccinated). But I shouldn’t be surprised that posters on here are all too quick to dismiss the experiences of birthing mothers.

Anonymous wrote:Can you hear yourselves? You criticize a poster for putting off pregnancy during the pandemic and now you're criticizing a poster for not putting off pregnancy during the pandemic?

IOW, every decision a woman makes is a bad one. She's always wrong and it's always her fault.

This was my key take away as well. Literally every choice is the wrong one and that poster is at fault.

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Anonymous wrote:Man y’all wouldn’t have lasted a week in the Dust Bowl or heck even in WWII with the rationing. Are there challenges today, sure but man life is good. Cancer death rates are dropping, we have access to all the art and information in the world, we have entertainment at our fingertips, we can eat food from all over the world. You really have to choose to glass half empty things. If you expect things to be miserable, they will be. Get over the pergola for god sake. Say it out loud to see how just ridiculous it sounds.

You've obviously never talked to someone who lived through the Dust Bowl or WWII, or read their letters or diary entries. They complained all the time, about everything! Not just how the war sucks or wow there are no jobs and food is scarce. They complained about the most mundane stuff. That's what people do.

You are literally complaining above about how you don't think Covid was bad enough to complain about. Whiner!

Ok then choose to be unhappy. It’s all up to you.

NP. Happy people generally don’t wake up on a Sunday morning and start berating people on the internet. So what’s eating at you?

NP. Happy people are sick and tired of the constant whining and blaming everyone/everything for their problems. The entire world lived through Covid and it's inherent tragedies and problems and, I dare say. Americans had it better than every other country in the world!

Then why are you on this thread? Serious question.

You are reportedly so happy. And you’re tired of COVID whining. So I’m wondering why a happy person is opening and commenting on threads about a topic they are tired of?

There’s all sorts of crap posted on this site I am tired of reading about so I scroll on. Also, I am a happy person overall. But part of my happiness comes from being able to reflect and process things, and to also show empathy to others.

Anonymous wrote:Same. I have moments (weeks) of feeling better, energetic, ready to tackle projects and make plans -- and then I'm back to being exhausted and living minute to minute.

DH is the same and we're both (still) struggling.

But kindergarten is a big milestone, for your DC and you and DH! Congratulations and enjoy it!

Yes, I keep trying as well but feel so tired and exhausted as well.