Reply to I cannot believe there are still people out there spanking their children...

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[quote=Anonymous]I used to think I was spanked by my parents and while I thought it was not great and wouldn't do it to my own kids, it was "the time" and not that damaging.

Eventually I figured out (on my own) that my parents were just abusive. They hit us in anger all the time. My dad "spanked" us with a belt. They screamed at us, made fun of us, gave us the silent treatment, etc. All these behaviors got rolled into this excuse of "this is how it was at the time" and "well, attitudes on child discipline have shifted." And for years I thought my upbringing was normal, if out of step with current parenting "trends."

There were even a few years in there where I realized my parents' hit/yelled/punished more than was typical for the time, but I honestly thought it was just a reflection of my siblings and I being bad kids and getting into more trouble and my parents HAD to do what they did because we weren't the kind of good children who could be raised without that kind of violence. My brothers still both think this on some level.

I believe there are parents who really only "spank" without anger, as a form of punishment, for a certain number of years when kids are what they deem the appropriate age. But I think there are WAY more parents like mine, who lean back on the idea that "spanking" is an acceptable form of discipline to cover a variety of abusive behaviors and convince their kids that it was normal and fine.[/quote]

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