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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry OP. This is a really hard position to be in and I can't believe the amount of grief you're getting from people insisting you MUST have misheard the social workers and lawyers you talked to, there MUST be a simple and straightforward answer. It's the "Job's friends" reaction - this sounds so bad, it must be your fault!

My MIL died of pancreatic cancer a few months ago and it was really terrible but awfully fast. I hope your aunt is able to patch together enough help to get through these last days. Everything you do contributes even though it shouldn't all be on you. [/quote]

I think it’s was OP’s insistence that there is a simple solution, and the social workers aren’t offering it because as a profession they are mean, lazy, and stupid that ruffled people’s feathers.

There isn’t a good solution.  I am sorry that you are going through this, OP.  I wish you the best, and I hope this situation with your aunt gives your parents some clarity when it comes to their care so that you don’t go through this again.    [/quote]

I don’t blame people for lashing out at a system that doesn’t work. That thread on the 70 year olds taking care of the 97 year old is horrifying.[/quote]

OP hasn't even looked into it and is just assuming aunt is not eligible.  [/quote]

I thought OP said upthread she did look into it and was told no due to private pensions and SS?[/quote]

Stop being clueless.  If a nursing home costs $10-12K a month and aunt is bringing in $3-4K with pension and SS, they qualify.  As long as the nursing home costs more monthly than the income as she has little in assets, she qualifies.  OP doesn't know or care.[/quote]

OP here. The clueless one is you. My aunt (once again) is not long-term. She isn’t expected to last the week. She’s comatose right how and in hospice where she belongs. They thought she was stable and tried to get me to bring her home. Good thing I held my ground. Apparently her bladder is mostly blocked and she was in raging pain last night and vomiting. They finally got a catheter in on the third try with the third nurse. If she had been home, she would have had a horrendous death. They had to take emergency measures. You keep speaking as if she is long-term. She isn’t and doesn’t meet that criteria. [/quote]

Long term is the name of the program.  It doesn’t matter if she is there a day or a week.  Stop prolonging her life.  Let her pass.  She belongs in a hospital.  [/quote]

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