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[quote=Anonymous]Good grief, the amount of flack OP is getting is unreal. I know there's a double standard on this site, but this is absurd.

OP, I'm a married woman. While I don't think your response was ideal, I understand why you said it. Now, I'd use it to open up a larger conversation about the future of your marriage. First decide what you want. I assume that is either an open marriage or scheduled sex once a week or something. Then, you have to decide if you're willing to divorce if she says the only option for her is continuing on the way things are. Making this decision ahead of time will affect how you approach the conversation with your wife.

As far as avoiding divorce for the kids, I always remember what my uncle told me. He and my aunt had a lousy marriage (both good people, just very different and not compatible) but waited until their youngest was in college to divorce. My uncle later said that his only regret about waiting was that his kids did not know what a healthy, loving relationship should look like. It wasn't something he thought of when the kids were younger, but now that they were adults he was seeing that the effects of that might follow them a lot longer than the effects of having amicably divorced parents would have. (The amicable being key, though.)[/quote]

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