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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I want to be the kind of woman that celebrates other women’s blessings. In general I don’t struggle to be happy for others but there’s this niggling feeling I’m being conned by Jen and it makes me a mean cynic toward her posts. 
There’s a motive behind her every word and action, and it’s all to benefit Jen. 
I don’t think she’s capable of understanding the level of desperation many are living in right now. She lacks genuine empathy, but knows how to parrot sweetsy feeling phrases to her followers like she cares. It’s all calculated.

I went back and read through Brandon’s IG. He talks about healing from getting his identity from serving others and feeling unappreciated. He’s a 2 on the ennigram, their internal motive is to be loved. All his gushy Tina posts suggests he finally feels seen and valued just for him, not as another cog in the machinery. Narcissists are brilliant at finding 2’s and exploiting their need to please. So Jen had a husband and parents and an entire church serving her for decades. Then there is her friend crew who obviously embrace her version of realty and rally to serve her as well. How many moms have this storyline? Single or otherwise? I do not know of anyone who has had her level of support, none.

When she tries to tell me how to have a mini me camp since I don’t have the ability to do a month away I balk. I know it may sound ridiculous but even getting an entire afternoon to sit outside with a book and wine uninterrupted is nearly impossible at this stage of my life. I steal time in little segments, but dedicated space to just be left alone, nope. I’m not saying I don’t need it, I’m saying I don’t have the support system to pull it off.

This is the root of my bitterness. Instead of being grateful for the 2 miracle children God gave me and my own hardworking  ennigram 2 husband I’m left feeling like my life isn’t good enough. I can’t take me camps, don’t have girlfriends throwing me parties, or famous friends showering me with praise and gifts, or taking idyllic trips. I’m an exhausted middle aged mom, smack in the middle class feeling the inflation pinch, plagued with worry about the future. 
Jen who once was a source of folksy down home Christian mom wisdom is now a thorn in my side. Shaming me in my mediocrity, for not living my best life. What the hell does that even mean? Some of us have responsibilities that preclude us from living a lifestyle of the rich and famous. 
Jen has built her life using the resources she’s been given and I can respect that but please stop acting like any of this is readily available to the majority of us. It’s not. [/quote]

Well this comment is everything. I would pay money for someone to post those words on her next Facebook post. I've also really been thinking lately that I wish someone would post a link to this thread, on her page. I'm sure it would get the person blocked for doing so, but it would be really nice to help point the other Jen followers to this gold mine of a thread. I had the nagging sense for a while that something was off but it wasn't until reading all of these pages that it all began to click.
 I'm mad at myself that I spent years being jealous of her and wondering why I didn't have the close family relationships, the perfect marriage, the fun sounding dinner clubs, the super-close best friends, etc, that she had. She made it look like she was excelling in every relationship and in every department, and it left me feeling lame in comparison.
Now I look at the kind of person she has become, and I think why was I jealous? No I haven't had Botox or plastic surgery or amazing fun trips by myself or with my besties, but I have a husband and children who love me and we eat nearly every meal together; I have sisters and a couple close friends who I text and laugh with daily and grab a meal together when we can; I have a safe and loving home and a church that makes me feel like I belong; and I am thankful for my simple life of love and blessings. Jen made me feel like crap for a long time and I'm not going to let her do it anymore...[/quote]

Same here! I really struggled with friendships in my 30s. Our big sis Jen kept yelling, "friendship is easy! Just show up for people!" I felt like I'd show up for people all the time - bring them food when a family member passed, check in on people, pay attention to other people's lives - and yet when my family went through a major ordeal, barely any of those people showed up for me. One day I realized that whenever Jen talks about showing up for others, she gives examples of when people showed up for HER. I've never heard her share a story about when SHE sat with someone going through a divorce or built a friend a porch bed (seriously WTF). That's when it hit me how much she uses people, because it takes a lot more to find good friends than just throwing a pizza oven in your backyard.[/quote]

This resonates with me. Years ago, I was in the same circle as an up and coming blogger and eventual overnight sensation.

I had to step away when I was used as a blog post or subject without my permission, several times. Imagine a post of a private, embarrassing matter that occurred between you and the social media star being spun as a teachable moment or worse, a humor piece. Throw in an equally specific description of all involved and it’s absolutely humiliating.

And the narcissistic social media maven being a user is painfully true; posts after posts of thanks and glorification of those who did the most, were the best ever BFF while those who weren’t as splashy or more subdued were forgotten. Zero examples of user providing actual support in turn.

It’s all carefully curated fiction. [/quote]

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