Reply to Nephew with celiac - what is fair/appropriate when visiting grandma?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
If this child is that sensitive and the diagnosis is recent and they have a newborn, the child is too sick to be visiting a remote cabin with other children. This child needs to stay near the hospital. Think of the guilt that OP will be subjected to if her kid puts a grain of food near this severely compromised child. It is just not the right setting.[/quote]

That's it, really. This isn't really about the food, and no lists of options will help the real issue. Neither will commentary that OP is inadequate if she and her kids can't deal with just changing food for five days, even with the picky eating issue aside.

It's the drama. No, that's understandable and appropriate drama, but it is drama (heightened emotions, high stakes, limited choice, no real flexibility, potential for bad outcomes, heavily invested parties (for understandable reasons), and a newborn baby and just postpartum mom, for chrissake). If this vacation were within a half hour drive of some simple small town restaurants and a grocery, I think it would be perfectly do-able. If the OP could potentially stay at a nearby hotel or two if people needed a break, it would be do-able. If there wasn't a newborn baby necessitating the cabin assignment -- bless its heart and glad it is in the woeld with us -- I think it would be do-able. If the parents and grandmother had dealt with celiac disease before and had a level of assuredness about it, it would be do-able.

As it is, it is technically do-able, but it's a powderkeg, and that's nobody's fault. It just is what it is. One loving response is to change things and have the same warm experiences, just spread out over a longer timeframe with fewer pressures.

There is nothing magical about those five days in that remote place. Other families don't have a summer cabin, and they still love each other and support each other. I can almost guarantee you that if this were my life, trying to force that powderkeg to be a perfect magical moment would lead to more strain in the long run over family relationships. Just not the outcome I'd want. Might work differently for others, but I can see that in my family, the kind, loving, involved, and gentle thing would be to visit a little later and with a little more flexible circumstances.

Ha! And that's not because we can't figure out how to sub out a corn tortilla. ;)[/quote]

Very well said. People can keep bickering over the details of celiac, but that really misses the point. This is about a unique set of circumstances at this moment in time for these familes, and the best way for them to get through this gracefully.[/quote]

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