Reply to Was I out of line at the grocery store with a shrieking toddler?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My daughter is autistic.  People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME.  They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought.  They are not.  People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child.  A stranger's child.  Without knowing what was going on.  You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable.  You were very much in the wrong.[/quote]
+1
OP you were completely out of line not to approach the parent first if you really thought you had to intervene. My child has apraxia and will often shriek and squeal. She also has huge anxiety. I try to never bring her to places where judgey people like you will make the situation worse, but sometimes it’s unavoidable (cancelled sitters, etc). If that had been my dd you would have missed the 30 minute prep in the car before she’d even enter the store, the hour we would have spent on a social story with photos and videos before getting in the car, and then what would look like me turning a blind eye to her shrieks bc that’s the only way she could get through it. You also wouldn’t know that this was remarkably better than the last visit and each one was an improvement, and that we had a plan with her ABA and OT therapists to desensitize her to everyday things such as a store that should be no big deal but are to her. Guess what, if you had gotten in her face and corrected her like that, it would have set her back months and reinforced everything she was anxious about, so you bet I would have sworn at you. To the other judgey people, this isn’t a result of bad parenting or junk food or anything else. Her siblings are not like this and she was born this way. Everyday tasks are hard enough without encountering know it alls like you. [/quote]

Your sob story really doesn't matter. When you go out in public you know people are going to be unpredictable. Your own kid is unpredictable. Buckle up, it can be wild out there. Or leave your kid at home.[/quote]
Wow, aren’t you lovely. My story is far from a sob story, it’s just to try to make clueless adults aware that sometimes there is more than they realize going on there. Clearly you missed out on the compassion. Actually my child is completely predictable - it’s encountering nasty people like you that is unpredictable. [/quote]

And someone acting out of line could have something more than you realize going on. Imagine your child as an adult and show the grace you demand.[/quote]

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