Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

I reply too soon. One of the ways that kids learn how to behave in public when they have challenges is to be in public. They have as much a right to be out in the world as you do. We’re not hiding autistic children at home for your comfort.

No, you shouldn’t hide autistic children. But both your child and you will be confronted for their behavior in public. It goes both ways when living in a society.

This! As someone with a child with differences, you can’t have it both ways: you can’t say, “my child is different and needs accommodation” and simultaneously shout: “my child is a child and should be treated the same as your child”

It’s infuriating, honestly, pick a lane.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

+1
OP you were completely out of line not to approach the parent first if you really thought you had to intervene. My child has apraxia and will often shriek and squeal. She also has huge anxiety. I try to never bring her to places where judgey people like you will make the situation worse, but sometimes it’s unavoidable (cancelled sitters, etc). If that had been my dd you would have missed the 30 minute prep in the car before she’d even enter the store, the hour we would have spent on a social story with photos and videos before getting in the car, and then what would look like me turning a blind eye to her shrieks bc that’s the only way she could get through it. You also wouldn’t know that this was remarkably better than the last visit and each one was an improvement, and that we had a plan with her ABA and OT therapists to desensitize her to everyday things such as a store that should be no big deal but are to her. Guess what, if you had gotten in her face and corrected her like that, it would have set her back months and reinforced everything she was anxious about, so you bet I would have sworn at you. To the other judgey people, this isn’t a result of bad parenting or junk food or anything else. Her siblings are not like this and she was born this way. Everyday tasks are hard enough without encountering know it alls like you.

Your sob story really doesn't matter. When you go out in public you know people are going to be unpredictable. Your own kid is unpredictable. Buckle up, it can be wild out there. Or leave your kid at home.

Or perhaps those of us that can control our behavior give grace to this family that are struggling. This is not permanent impact OP. This was a brief disturbance and required patience rather than confrontation.

You realize you're in public, right? And you can tell a parent laughing and egging bad behavior on isn't struggling. I had a parent once tell her kid to "keep right on kicking, baby" the back of my chair at a game once when I gave a dirty look. This is the type of people out there and the rest of us have to put up with. I would high five OP for doing us all a favor.

Anonymous wrote:The vilification of the Mom in this story is incredible. Honestly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound crazy OP to yell at a toddler.

She didn't yell. And what she said is perfectly acceptable.

No, it's not. It's strange that OP didn't say something to the parent.

Why? It would fall on deaf ears. If the parent wasn't addressing it they weren't going to after a reprimand. Maybe that parent will do better next time having learned the lesson.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

+1
OP you were completely out of line not to approach the parent first if you really thought you had to intervene. My child has apraxia and will often shriek and squeal. She also has huge anxiety. I try to never bring her to places where judgey people like you will make the situation worse, but sometimes it’s unavoidable (cancelled sitters, etc). If that had been my dd you would have missed the 30 minute prep in the car before she’d even enter the store, the hour we would have spent on a social story with photos and videos before getting in the car, and then what would look like me turning a blind eye to her shrieks bc that’s the only way she could get through it. You also wouldn’t know that this was remarkably better than the last visit and each one was an improvement, and that we had a plan with her ABA and OT therapists to desensitize her to everyday things such as a store that should be no big deal but are to her. Guess what, if you had gotten in her face and corrected her like that, it would have set her back months and reinforced everything she was anxious about, so you bet I would have sworn at you. To the other judgey people, this isn’t a result of bad parenting or junk food or anything else. Her siblings are not like this and she was born this way. Everyday tasks are hard enough without encountering know it alls like you.

Your sob story really doesn't matter. When you go out in public you know people are going to be unpredictable. Your own kid is unpredictable. Buckle up, it can be wild out there. Or leave your kid at home.

Wow, aren’t you lovely. My story is far from a sob story, it’s just to try to make clueless adults aware that sometimes there is more than they realize going on there. Clearly you missed out on the compassion. Actually my child is completely predictable - it’s encountering nasty people like you that is unpredictable.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t believe OP for the simple fact that there is no one, and I mean NO ONE, more bothered by a child’s screams than the MOTHER. It’s biologically wired into us to respond to our children screaming. Zero chance in hell the mom was laughing at the screaming. That’s the tell that this is made up or exaggerated.

I'm not OP but I have seen this situation play out a few times and yes the mom's have laughed and shrugged it off while the whole store is looking at how crazy mom is.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t believe OP for the simple fact that there is no one, and I mean NO ONE, more bothered by a child’s screams than the MOTHER. It’s biologically wired into us to respond to our children screaming. Zero chance in hell the mom was laughing at the screaming. That’s the tell that this is made up or exaggerated.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is autistic. People intervene when she's melting down in public ALL THE TIME. They think they are being helpful, either to me, or to themselves, as you thought. They are not. People need to mind their own business.

You tried to parent another person's child. A stranger's child. Without knowing what was going on. You felt entitled because you were uncomfortable. You were very much in the wrong.

If your child is shrieking in the store to the point of disturbing others, maybe it’s time to take them home. It doesn’t matter that they have autism, frankly.

Anonymous wrote:Just to be clear, you think the shrieking was hurting the ears of everyone in the grocery store, including all the way across the store, but you think the mom who was standing right next to her child was unbothered?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good for you! You were the hero of the store.

Some parents think everything their kids do is adorable, including shrieking, yelling, hitting, running around and knocking things over at the store.

Right. A little bit of public shaming is good for those people.

Yep, and now OP is getting publicly shamed. It's good for her!