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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]On a post like this, half of the posters are often talking from their own experiences of how well or worse they were received by their significant other's family and what difference small gestures make.

Other half are MILs wanting to keep their nuclear families close knit and their children's significant others respecting and honoring that. 
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I think it's a give and take on both sides. I don't think it's all on the dil or all on the mil.

For example I foster and encourage my DH to have one one dinners and whatnot with his mom and I respect she wants that alone time with him and she welcomed me into the family as her DIL and treats me as such. She doesn't just acknowledge her son and leave me out. She acknowledges my birthday and she acknowledges me and reaches out to me.

So therefore since she makes the effort with me and doesn't treat me like an outsider I'm a lot more willing to understand her need for time with just my husband alone and I'm much more willing to foster that.

If she ignored me or didn't treat me like family in other areas to me it would be just another example of her shutting me out.

So basically I think MILs should treat their DIL like a member of the family and generally if they do something for their son like acknowledge their birthday or pick up a gift DIL should be acknowledged as well

However on the same end the DIL should respect that their will be times that her mil wants to see her son alone and should encourage that bond.
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