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[quote=Anonymous]DP. 
I think we can agree that the most polite thing to do in a society is to be gracious and thank people who give them gifts - whether this be a friend or relative, whether it is a large or small gift. Niece should express gratitude in some way, in a timely manner, whatever that is.

But obviously we can't expect everyone to behave graciously.

So, the gracious thing to do is forgive, take the high road. Aunt shouldn't be proclaiming that niece has screwed herself - Aunt just sounds arrogant and unkind. Why would you want to sound like that?

The other probable conclusion is that there have been some negative family dynamics that has crossed from generation to generation. Family members expecting other family members to deliver, to provide, and not being appreciative of their efforts. No one saying thank you because it (the gift, the act or whatever) is just expected.

I think it would be reasonable for Aunt to check - "I'm just wondering if you received my gift".  Hopefully niece is mature enough and gracious enough to express appreciation at that point.  If she doesn't, I think it is Aunt's prerogative to decide no more gifts. But not sure the judgement, the "niece just screwed herself" is necessary. [/quote]

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