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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents moved across the country for retirement in a warm weather area. About ten years later, one sibling moved her family out there also. That sibling had had an unpleasant divorce and she wanted her kids as far away as possible from their dad. My parents did a lot of caretaking for her kids over the years.

My sister ended up doing a lot to take care of our parents because she lived right there. I was on the other side of the country. My parents made the choice to move out there, knowing my job would keep me here and that I had no desire to live in the state they had moved to.

So, yes, my sister did a lot to take care of them, but she also had benefitted from them taking care of her kids in a way they never could for my kids. In the end, they did divide things equally, but I admit I would have been annoyed if they hadn’t under these circumstances. (Also, I am aware that they always reimbursed her for her time and mileage when she was helping them and always gave her a bit extra, so I don’t think there was any resentment on her part.)
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Are you divorced? If not, you are fortunate that you didn't go through the brutal process of a divorce with kids, and then feel compelled for the benefit of your kids to move away from your friends, support system, and start anew as a single mom. And if you are married, you have a life partner to share childrearing and all the joys and challenges that presents.

So your sibling moved to be close to family, a support system, while she re-built her life. That's wonderful your parents could help her and provide her kids with love and stability. And I'm sure she was happy to help your parents as they aged, but she's doing that as a single mom, with a job, probably leaving her precious little time for herself. But all I hear from your post is tit-for-tat score keeping, and grumpiness that your sibling got extra help with her kids when she needed it most.

What I don't hear is compassion for how she had to manage all of this, and gratitude that your situation is different. THIS is what rips families apart. Utter lack of empathy and a focus on who got how much. [/quote]

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