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Reply to "Having an overweight teenage daughter is so hard "
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[quote=Anonymous]I completely understand why OP is concerned. Word of advice to the judgmental posters: ignore whatever interpretation you have extracted of her "tone", and consider the core issue for which she is asking for advice. Being a parent of 2 teen soccer players, I can see myself being very worried if either of them started gaining weight at this age rapidly while playing soccer or in off-season. In your daughter's defense OP, there might be a combination of factors keeping her away from exercising - school work, the fact that exercise becomes more difficult as you gain weight, and that many team sport athletes are not into exercising for its own sake. Regular (2-3 times/week + weekend games) hi-intensity soccer practice is enough to keep most kids (very) fit, which means that most of them aren't used to doing additional exercise in a gym that can seem boring and pointless. Why so? because many of us aren't wired to be motivated by our own body image, but get super-motivated when doing it for a shared purpose in a group (like being a good soccer team that wins games). What would I have done if I were in your shoes (as a parent of a current soccer player of similar age)? (a) Have her health checked thoroughly - to assess her current state of health and fitness (% body fat, cardio health, etc.), and identify any underlying medical issues. Such as PCOS, diabetes, and something that is less known - thyroid issues. Hypothyroidism can cause rapid and inexplicable weight gain - onset among teens is rare, but can happen. If she has any of these issues, the other steps below (exercise, eat healthy) can still be important but secondary. (b) If there are no health issues causing weight gain, have her screened for mental health issues, like early signs of depression (including any recent triggers like abuse, stress). I would have her see an experienced therapist. Like (a), this takes precedence above anything else. (c) If everything in (a) and (b) are fine, I'd (strongly) encourage her to take up a team sport in off-season in varsity soccer. This might be applicable even if (a) or (b) were true. If she had been serious about soccer in the past, she might take to a club team that practices no more than 2-3 times a week, is not strict about occasionally missed practice, gives a break during school soccer season, has a positive environment and yet is serious about playing good soccer. Many mid-level club teams that fit this mold. This will also make her a better player for her varsity team next year - an added motivation. If she just doesn't want to play soccer in off-season, I'd find another sport that is fun and intense but not difficult to break into as a newbie. Like ultimate frisbee, or pickleball, squash, racquetball, badminton (many fun options are out there). For any of these, I'd have her join a club that welcomes beginners. (d) I'd encourage her to eat healthy, and suggest ways to be more active in daily life - like taking stairs as much as she can, walking neighbors' dogs, etc etc. If she is doing (c), that might also motivate her to go to the gym to get better at whatever sport she is playing. Of course, all of the above - and esp. (c) and (d) - need to be done in a completely non-judgmental way, with no attention to (monitoring) her weight, except to the extent a doctor might want to. Finally, OP also needs to be aware that it is possible to rapidly gain weight - up to a point - in a healthy way for a teen. Some teens go through changes that make them grow heavier, without necessarily being "fat". Which is why (a) should come first, ahead of everything else.[/quote]
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