Reply to Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?

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Reply to "Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Since SAHMs are so lowly to you, perhaps you WOH because the work of SAHM and the child care providers you love and defend so dearly is beneath you. snooty, snooty, snooty.... "

In part, yes. Another key reason is that my working allows me to tell DH to go jump in a lake.  My mother, and my grandmother before her, were frustrated at times with their lack of "hand" in their marriages.  My DH can't make any decisions without my concurrence, because I make more than half the money. He can't just come home one day and say the family is moving because he took a new job. He can't make major purchases without my say so. We have a real partnership, not based on benevolence or emotion.[/quote]

I get that.  But I am a SAHM and DH doesn't make any of those decisions without me either.  My contribution to our family and household makes me a true partner as well.  He knows he could not do what he does and have what he has if I didn't do what I do.  His entire paycheck goes into our joint account and I manage the money.  Our marriage is based on mutual respect and DH does not disrespect me for not contributing a paycheck to our family.  We decide everything together - neither of us would tell the other to go jump in lake over any issue - we'd work to find a compromise.  Could he up and leave me one day?  Well, I suppose so - and breaking up our family would be devastating to me in so many more ways than financial - re-entering the workforce would likely be challenging, but as the old saying goes, necessity breeds invention, I would find a way, as I suspect, we all would if tragedy struck.

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