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[quote=Anonymous]

Parents don’t take enough responsibility when kids are bullied, and they don’t teach their kids to break the cycle.

When bullying happens, the kid will cry and get withdrawn and whatever. Typically DCUM parents will go on a plastic bubble crusade.

Instead parents need to sit down with their kid and ask them to stop and take a good look in the mirror. Why is the bullying happening? What messages are the other kids trying to send?

Are the other kids really telling your child to pay attention in practice? Figure out how to receive a pass IN-BOUNDS? Maybe your kid talked like a dork when his teammates were trying to get with some hot 8th or 9th grade girls after a tournament? If YOU were trying to hook up and it depended on your appearance and being cool, would you really want your kid to come up and start talking about playing Yu-gi-oh at the team party four years ago in 4th grade?

We coddle kids when they claim they were bullied, when really the “bullied” kids are just being shown the consequences of being weird. Maybe if you teach your kids THAT instead of always fawning over them as victims, then they’ll maybe get to first or second base before they die. Just telling it like it is.[/quote]

You are greatly simplifying the nature of these problems. As a parent of a kid who has been bullied by a teammate, I can tell you that the bullying didn't really bother him. He is a small kid, who was going about his business in practice when he'd repeatedly be called "tiny" "shorty" and whatever else by a kid on the same team. Size is beyond his control. My kid learned a long time ago that he lets his abilities do the talking. So, he was happy to ignore it or tell him to shut up. But, it's the repeated bickering, the stop in play, the distraction, and the flat out bullshit nonsense that bothered him and the other kids. Finally, when he went to practice with another team he said, "Oh my God...everyone was there to play soccer. There was no trash talk or nonsense."  He didn't want to leave the rest of his friends, but felt like he had no choice if he wanted to seriously focus on soccer. The problem child was never disciplined, saw no reduction in playing time, or anything. He was welcomed back with open arms. This is why it falls on the coaches to step in and make it clear that the kids are there to play soccer and learn together - not create nonstop distractions. Simply "toughening up" does nothing to resolve the underlying problem. [/quote]

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