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[quote=Anonymous]My parents did not help pay for my first home, but an inheritance from my grandmother did, so certainly well given from family. It allowed me to invest in a home about a year earlier than I otherwise would have, and to build equity. That leader flipped over into our next home, and our next.  My parents also paid for all of my college and law school tuition and board for college.  I worked throughout, but they clearly paid almost all.  Fast forward, I help to take care of my father, and helped to take care of my mother before her death.  I go with my father to medical appointments, take care of all of his bills/finances, driving to church each week, and have helped him move into our neighborhood so that he has a greater quality of life and engagement with his grandkids.  I also work extraordinarily hard, as many do.  I earn multiples of what my parents did and have established well funded 529s both for my kids and my sisters’.  So now I am able to take my father on trips, have him to our beach house for weeks at a time, and ensure he has everything he needs or wants (mot hard as he doesn’t want much).  I plan to do the same fir my kids and grandkids.  And, notable, my grandparents did all they could to help my parents, whether to pay for homes (all were relatively poor but chipped in), taking care of kids, really anything.  Then my parents took care of my grandparents when the time came , having one grandparent move in with our nuclear family for over a decade, and helping extensively with the day to day care of another.

I do not believe that there is a right or wrong way for families to interact when it comes to finances or other forms of assistance, reliance or other ways of being intertwined. Some families and cultures take great pride in the independence of a particular generation or nuclear family or a couple. Others take great pride in the success of the overall family line.  In my family, parents have made great efforts to support their children and getting to the next level, whether economically or in terms of education or access to opportunities.  I don’t view that as infantilizing their children. Each generation has pretty far advance the ball for the next generation. I hope to do the same, and my teenagers understand.  my kids are very privileged and know it, so of course none of us fully know our full privilege. Instead of squandering it, though, they understand that it comes with responsibility, both to their families and to try to do some good in the world.  Again, lots of ways to raise children and families, but the idea that inter-generational wealth transfer is abhorrent or infantilizing has not played out in my family or our community. [/quote]

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