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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That is not good. Does she have any cognitive or mental issues that her parents are aware of? Is she doing drugs? It certainly sounds like some misguided teen cry for help. Was she abused in college, by step dad or a relative? What is she going to do? Be homeless? Sounds like she lacks faculties to help herself.[/quote]

I have thought about this endlessly over the past month. My husband and I have talked about it at great length. He and his ex have seen a therapist about it - none of us can come up with an answer. My step daughter is smart and funny and she used to be more social. As her friends progressed in life, they left her behind (that's a pretty solid consensus we all agree upon). Her two closest friends ended up going to Ivy league schools - all I can guess is that she felt pressured to succeed like so many kids in this area (although my husband and his ex are both pretty laid back) and that pressure just led her straight into a brick wall. My intuition at this point is that she thinks it is too late and life has passed her by. Her friends from HS are either in grad school or working. I think as each day passes she realizes its getting harder for her to reverse course and that's what is keeping her stuck.

She's still so young, but I can relate in some ways because when I was her age I felt like my course in life was set out for me (looking back I can see how easy it is to change tack, study something new, embark on a career etc in your early 20s).

I was really against having her move in at first because I just felt like it was a for landing for her and an avoidance tactic. I still think she's avoiding things, but I don't know what to say - she literally has nowhere to go. I guess she could try to stay with her grandfather (my husband's ex father) but again, its just another soft landing place for her? And i'm not sure it is fair to ask him to take her in?[/quote]

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