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[quote=Anonymous]Eventually one family member is going to break away from this denial delusion and realize how much the grandfather is to blame.  My cousin died in a freak accident when I was a kid.  Like this family, my family shifted the blame to something else (no lawsuit, just blame).  Eventually my uncle got past that and realized it was mostly the fault of their other son.  It completely shattered the family and it was terrible.  My uncle wanted everyone else to get to his point so they could get therapy and move on.  My aunt was firmly in denial and my other cousin was spiraling (he knew but wanted to live in denial). They got divorced and it caused a lot of friction in my family as the aunt was my mom's sister.

A couple of years went by before my cousin attempted suicide and finally got the help he needed.   My aunt lived in denial for years after but eventually it worked out.   The damage to the family was irreparable.

I get the shift in blame. I get the denial. But it's a really dangerous way to go about your grief bevaise you can't live in that haze forever[/quote]

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