Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But look at all the children who have drowned while in the care of one parent but not the other. Somehow many of them stay together, go on to have more children, etc. Look at Bode Miller.

I get it. This is going to sound crazy but on some level, you can understand a drowning, a car accident, getting hit by a car, etc... Someone stupidly holding your kid up to a window and dropping them?? Not the same as the kid sitting on the ledge and screen pops out and the kid falls. Not the same as you taking your eye off the kid for one sec and the kid climbs up on something and falls

Three kids dying in a house fire because you're too stupid to not put ashes outside and douse them with water?? No working smoke detectors in a wood frame house under construction?? Cognitively, those aren't accidents. Those seem like avoidable if only's perpetrated by otherwise smart, decent human beings. That's hard to swallow.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Call this insensitive but isn’t this natural selection at work. His stupid genes aren’t passed down.

He was her step grandfather. And yes it’s pretty insensitive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully the family is coming to their senses.

Their lawyer is probably pouring gas on fire.

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully the family is coming to their senses.

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully the family is coming to their senses.

Anonymous wrote:Are there any updates on this whole thing?

Anonymous wrote:Call this insensitive but isn’t this natural selection at work. His stupid genes aren’t passed down.

Anonymous wrote:Eventually one family member is going to break away from this denial delusion and realize how much the grandfather is to blame. My cousin died in a freak accident when I was a kid. Like this family, my family shifted the blame to something else (no lawsuit, just blame). Eventually my uncle got past that and realized it was mostly the fault of their other son. It completely shattered the family and it was terrible. My uncle wanted everyone else to get to his point so they could get therapy and move on. My aunt was firmly in denial and my other cousin was spiraling (he knew but wanted to live in denial). They got divorced and it caused a lot of friction in my family as the aunt was my mom's sister.

A couple of years went by before my cousin attempted suicide and finally got the help he needed. My aunt lived in denial for years after but eventually it worked out. The damage to the family was irreparable.

I get the shift in blame. I get the denial. But it's a really dangerous way to go about your grief bevaise you can't live in that haze forever

Anonymous wrote:But look at all the children who have drowned while in the care of one parent but not the other. Somehow many of them stay together, go on to have more children, etc. Look at Bode Miller.

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone remember the Madonna Badger case? Her three children and parents all died in a fire in CT on Christmas morning. They ultimately decided that the contractor boyfriend was at fault because the house was under construction and there were no smoke alarms. However, the house was condemned before Madonna could conduct her own investigation.

Anyway... the father of those three girls initiated the lawsuit against the contractor boyfriend (an extension of guilt passed on to the mother). The father subsequently died a few years later and I believe it was of a broken heart. There is no way that you can reasonably forgive someone who you believe caused the death of or is responsible for the death of your child; grandpa, mother, etc... If you are forced to forgive someone that is in your life in any way (past or present), I believe it will kill you.

All I'm saying is... I believe that there is no way that they parents can move on and also forgive grandpa. You will never look at him the same EVER again. They have to blame RC to survive as a family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They could acknowledge he made a tragic mistake and then forgive him. People make mistakes all of the time. It’s be different if it were intentional.

This was a pretty freaking huge mistake. I imagine it would take a very long time to process his role in this and come to a place of forgiveness. In the meantime, you have to create a narrative in your head that allows you to survive.