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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad molested his sister when they were young adults. He told me when I was about 17 because I saw her be really mean to him one day and he felt like he had to tell me why she was so angry with him. It changed my view of him forever.[/quote]

It is pretty unforgivable.[/quote]

everything is forgivable, especially if it was something that happened when the offender was a child himself.[/quote]

He was 17 and he knew what he was doing.  There are many who were molested as children and they don't become molesters.  Imagine the trauma to his sister.  I wouldn't speak to him either and I would NEVER have allowed him to be around my children.  You are wrong not everything is forgivable.  You don;t have to let it ruin your life but I would never have trusted him again.  You do what you want.  [/quote]

To clarify, my dad told me about the incident when *I* was 17. I think it happened when they were in their early 20's or thereabouts. His sister doesn't speak to him. It's her right to decide whether or not she's going to forgive him. I don't care whether she does or not.

My own brother was a bully and psychologically abusive to me when we were kids. I've forgiven him because he was a child too, and I believe he was acting out under the stress of being abused by our dad. We're good friends now.

My dad was never sexually abusive to anyone other than his sister, to my knowledge, but he treated my mom and my brothers and I HORRIBLY, was psychologically abusive, would throw things (including furniture) at us, etc. I never realized his behavior was "abuse" until years later when I became pregnant with my first child and realized I NEVER want to be that kind of parent. I'm so angry at him now, but my mom is still with him and they only travel together so in order to visit with her I have to deal with him, also. Usually  I just try to tune him out and pretend he's not there. I think he has no idea how much I hate him. If he knew he'd probably kill himself. I have intense "anger dreams" about him on a pretty regular basis. I believe that I'll forgive him, SOMEDAY, but I'm not there yet and it will likely be many years from now. [/quote]

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