Reply to Update: New nephews not fitting into family dynamic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This thread makes me so mad.

I don't care what the bratty boys were doing. They are family now, and you can't just excommunicate them.
They matter, and the 3 girls matter, and the grandfather matters.

Families figure out how to accommodate everyone, even when it's challenging. That is what families do.

I am absolutely sickened by this thread. 
[/quote]

Oh, hell no to this.   Some people can't be accommodated, and if "family" can't behave then family can't come.  This is not a first, or even a tenth, it sounds like, offense.  [/quote]

Seriously. When people make an effort to be considerate you work with them to find solutions. When they do nothing to meet you halfway or even sympathize with what you're going through, you tell them to come back when they're ready to find a path forward.

I think the posters who are trashing OP have been fortunate enough not to have truly toxic family members who needed to be walled off for the good of everyone else.

The thing is, this was BIL's responsibility. If he  truly cares about the family who accepted him as their own for 20 years, he would take it upon himself to mend his own fences. The party is the least of it. His daughters are in harm's way at this point. He needs to suck it up and tell his spouse that the kids are going to therapy and being put on a behavioral plan or this little experiment is over.

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+1,000,000[/quote]

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