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[quote=Anonymous]Gee, OP, grow up and teach your kids appropriate behavior. It's not appropriate to stand on the arms of couches, particularly away from home. If you have an old couch at home that you let them climb on, fine. Tell them this is the only couch they can climb on. Teach them that there are consequences to their behavior.

The BIL doesn't sound like he was out to torment and harm the child. I do not agree with corporal punishment in any way, but I am strict about teaching appropriate behavior. That wasn't a two year old standing on the couch arm, it was a child old enough to know better. And that child didn't listen when words were used. Swooping in and taking the child off physically is not wrong, in this case. I'd gently put my hand on the child's arm and firmly tell them to get down. Your BIL is not so gentle. But that's life. Not everyone will treat you and you kids with kid gloves. They need to learn that. YOU need to learn that.

Your overreaction and escalation was to grab the child and rush out of the room, which is a fear/flee reaction that the child picked up on. The kid was just startled and angry that she didn't get to do what she wanted, at first. Then you really scared her. And then what? Your husband's protective side came out, because you guys got scared? And the BIL got defensive because you're all acting like a normal household rule about furniture climbing is somehow crazy and wrong?

And you wanted to leave, just because of that? Do you run away in fear from every minor situation you face? Do you see what you're teaching your kids? "We don't have to follow rules, and we run away crying when other people have a problem with our behavior. And Mommy thinks that's fine." An adult response would be to calmly go over the reasons we don't stand on the arms of couches. 
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