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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would not stay over again - not because BIL is a danger, but because you obviously have different parenting philosophies and also because he has anger management issues.  It creates an all around stressful environment.  Why go through it during a so called vacation?  I'm a very relaxed parent and yes my kid acted out when she was young.  SIL said to me "If she was my kid, I'd beat her into submission" - we didn't stay at their house again and our relationship was never the same.  Whatever.[/quote]

+1 on the first sentence.

You guys clearly have really, really different parenting philosophies.  It also sounds like your children's behavior gets on your BIL's nerves.  You guys need to stay in a hotel in the future.  I "discipline" other folks children.  If any of my nieces (real and pretend) were standing on my couch, I would certainly tell them to get down.  Your 4 year old KNEW what he was saying, and knew she was to get down off of the couch.  I also have no problem "helping" them get down either.  I would take them by the hand and say, "Let Auntie help you down".

ALL of the adults overreacted in the situation.  Retreating to the room over this to discuss leaving suggests that your family is dramatic as hell, OR there is some history and you guys don't mesh well.[/quote]

Saying no and lifting her down is very different from pinning her down and screaming. [/quote]

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