Reply to Seeking opinions on an incident involving another family member disciplining my child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
[quote]Anonymous wrote:
OMG I can't believe some of you people. You are going to find yourselves with teenage kids who feel like they aren't supported by you and can't count on you. I truly feel sorry for them.

+ a million

+ another million

Actually, you are wrong. People who parent like you are going to end up with rebelious teenagers who do whatever they want, or precious snowflakes who melt tue first time they have a coach correct them or a teacher grade them harshly or a boss who lets them know that the world does not revolve around them.

If my kid faces adversity, he will know that he can come to me and he will fell safe and supported and loved. But your kids will not. Your kids are going to end up with kids who feel they can't turn to you. They will need to fend for themselves. They are learning that early, based on what some of you post here. They will not feel close to you, though.[/quote]

I agree. Your job as a parent is to be the child's safe place. Not side with an asshole BIL who yells at your kids for no good reason. [/quote]

No.

Your job as a parent is to teach your child how to function in this world in a socially acceptable manner so the can be a functional adult. You do this by teaching them to behave, to regulate their behavior and to overcome failure and work through adversity  you teach them that they are part of a bigger world and society, and there are norms of behaviors and common manners that allow us to function as a society.

You teach them how to be wrong and to learn from their mistakes so they can become better people.  You teach them how to come up with better outcomes when they are wrong or make mistakes.

Giving them structure and teaching them to behave is far more loving and supportive than letting them do whatever the heck they want and showing them by your every example that they are always right, no matter what, even if they are actually wrong.

That kind of parenting does children a huge disservice.[/quote]

Actually, research shows that being warm, supportive, and authoritative is what raises healthy children. Not being rigid and punitive and always insisting that they behave perfectly, and tolerating other adults acting physically aggressively towards them. [/quote]

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