Reply to (Vacation wife) Help. Spiraling.

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, focus on your kids and your new job. Let the ex and the boyfriend go. You picked very badly once and got right into a rebound only ONE MONTH later. You are as much of a mess as your ex is. Own that and stop the distractions, denial and performance.

You have a LOT of work to do on your codependence and family of origin issues. You got with ex for reasons, same with being overly involved now. You say it’s all about your kids, more likely that the roots are in your own childhood.

Stop with all the activities and the too big house. You likely can’t afford an au pair nor can you take more risk with an illegal rental. Find a 2 bedroom, maybe in a basement rental. Go to ground, get solid financially, and get your head on straight. Have comms with ex go through a court approved app. With any luck he will be told by his lawyer to go to rehab. It would be a lucky break if he goes to live with his parents for a time.

Do not introduce men to your kids.

You are are a single mom with an addicted, lying, cheating spouse, in over your head financially. Own it. Get stable, on your own 2 feet, no men for at least a year or 2 after divorce is finalized. No crutches or distractions.

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