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Infertility Support and Discussion
Reply to "pregnant at 47"
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[quote=Anonymous]I am dealing with both infertility, that's unlikely to be resolved with a biological child, and two very ill parents, who are not going to get better. It's a very strange and trying time. I'm in my early 40's. It's so very hard to think of losing my parents, and to be dealing with their care in my 30's and 40's. This experience weighs on my decision of whether or not to adopt. No matter how great a parent I am to my child, they will experience my old age at a relatively young age. And I speak from experience when I say that that's profoundly difficult. There's not a platitude out there that can negate that. I do think the OP was cavalier in her comments. I don't think age should stop people from becoming parents. But I do need to consider the effect my age would have on a child. It is not a case of, "Everything will work out somehow." It's a big deal. At the very least, it should inform how well I take care of myself. I know this longing for a child and I feel it every day. Yes, I will probably be a better parent now than 15 years ago. Yes, my husband is a better man than who I was dating then. But that doesn't mean my child's finances, living situation, and emotions won't be really affected by the age of their parents. Does this mean we shouldn't adopt? Not necessarily. But I shouldn't kid myself that my decision to have a child in my 40's does not carry a downside for the child. I'm living it. [/quote]
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