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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the parent who keeps the flex schedule so kids aren't in SACC till 6 or stuck in camp aftercare which is ALWAYS terrible. But my career is so stymied by being parent friendly. Really wish we had focused on breadwinner SAHM model rather than equality and "do it all" fallacy.

That's all. Off to pick up my kids from camp. [/quote]

+1 In your same boat OP. My husband was working in big law when I had my first and told me he'd happily be the breadwinner if I wanted to stay at home. I blame years of indoctrination from my education and even my own parents that WOMEN MUST HAVE A CAREER AND YES THEY CAN HAVE IT ALL, I chose to stay in my well paid but stressful consulting job. As much as it hurt to see my baby get whisked off by a nanny (yes, we had the privilege of affording a nanny but I still didn't love the arrangement), I just could not give up my career. I didn't even love my job, but I loved that I had a career and that's what my peers and society told me I had to have.

Fast forward 5 years, we've had a second kid and husband now works as a government lawyer. I essentially had to mommy track at some point and now I'm neither here nor there. No longer work for the prestigious big name company but still have to keep working so I'm constantly stretched thing as the primary back-up care person, especially in the summer.

Wish I had chosen to be a SAHM when the chance was there. Or not had kids. Or just had one.

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When we decide to go to college or grad school, we don't also tell ourselves we just have to have that full-time job simultaneously. Nor do most people embark starting a business, or starting a family as an undergraduate. For some phases of life we understand that it is full commitment. 
Strangely enough, when we birth utterly dependent creatures, we (men and women) think it's optional to have a career and optional to care for the child. [/quote]

We have an entire system of student loans, dorms, financial aid, work study, etc that makes that full commitment possible for many. (And there are many people who DO work through college too). Other countries have long parental leaves and more flexibility for mothers to work part time due to health insurance benefits not being tied to full-time employment. We have NO system for parents to stay at home for 5 years PER KID and then return to work other than "marry someone whose salary can support you all," which is not a system that works for anyone making a median salary these days. So what would you look to see happen to recognize the full commitment needed? [/quote]

Dp. I’m a firm believer that ‘a man is not a plan’- I’ve seen many families suffer when you put all your income in one persons basket.  It’s just not smart for a variety of reasons.  BUT the mom load is real. More people need to buy houses on one salary, the McMansion culture is ridiculous and exists nowhere else in the world.  One parent should work part time.  We need to stop putting dual income pressure on families. [/quote]

It’s not McMansions, it’s the price of land with okay commutes.  And education and medical costs. Granite countertops aren’t moving the needle. [/quote]

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