Reply to Are there really men whose dream it is to have their wife not need to work?

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[quote=Anonymous]“There are no solutions. There are only trade offs.”  -Thomas Sowell.

I don’t know that it was my “dream” to have a SAHM. It was a preference partially because that is how I was raised.  On our second date my now wife told me she would be willing to work but her dream was to be a SAHM. She put me through graduate school and then stopped working the Friday before my first day at my post grad job (two of our kids born during graduate school). It has worked well for us.  We’ll celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary later this year.

Yes, women in her situation can end up in tough spots. But so can men and women in any home/work arrangement. There is no magic “have it all option.”  Every choice comes with a set of benefits and costs.  Everyone just has to choose which set of benefits/costs they prefer. I completely understand that some men AND women would look at our situation and say “no way would I put myself in that position.”

She has sacrificed a career, and I’ve sacrificed much of a personal life outside of our family and work. Beyond my college friendships virtually all of my friendships/socialization (what little time there is for that) are derivative of work/family life.

Before any one asks.

-We don’t need her income, so not worried there. 
-I do a lot more cooking than my wife (I handle breakfast every morning. Because it matters to me and I cook on the weekends because I enjoy it). We outsource the rest. 
-I really enjoy outdoor work around the house but we outsource much of it. Though my wife has been power spraying the house and decks these past few weeks and she loves gardening. 
-we outsource most of our home cleaning with the exception of the kids having to clean their own space/laundry. 
-LOL at the idea of me being in control of the money. She handles the day-to-day finances and I take the lead on the long term planning. I don’t even know the logins to our accounts other than the brokerage account.

“There are no solutions. There are only tradeoffs.”  [/quote]

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