Anonymous
11/08/2023 19:39
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Are you willing to pay for the latest weight loss drugs out of pocket? If not STFU.
Anonymous
11/08/2023 19:38
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Dan Savage once said that part of being a good partner is staying within 10% of the weight you were when you met. I've always made that a goal for myself.
Imagine taking life advice from Dan Savage.
Dan Savage had made a career of giving life advice.
Imagine taking life advice from randos on DCUM.
He’s a radio jock with a BFA from University of Illinois in ACTING.
And you’re a buffoon.
Anonymous
11/08/2023 19:37
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.
This
Both quotes are likely written by women - try persuade yourself that’s true. Life will show you it’s not. Spouses are only happy if both are overweight but not when one person is into workouts and health and the other eats bags of chips. These are not compatible
I am the poster that says passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says. I am a guy 6’4” 245 and hover around 10-15% body fat. I workout in some form 5-6 days a week. My wife is 5’3” was 125-130 when we we met. She is currently 155-165, and at one point she was over 200lbs. Not for 1 sec has my desire for her ever dipped. She is a beautiful woman. I just want her to be healthy and comfortable that number isn’t for me to decide. So “These” are compatible.
What you wrote just proves my point. You have 29 BMI overweight ; your wife 28.4 also overweight (was obese when over 200). People tend to find attractive what’s close by looks to themselves
I don’t think if you were 6’4 180lbs you would find a 200lbs woman anywhere near attractive
Look. Most people would still love their spouse and find them attractive if they gained weight. Just like most people would still love their kids and enjoy their company even if they didn’t achieve in school/sports/whatever.
I get that this wasn’t your experience. That you weren’t loved as a kid. That you didn’t love your husband of 20 years, and that you don’t love the man you are currently sleeping with. I get that you have chosen to surround yourself with friends who are cheating and screaming at each other in whatever relationship they are in.
But most people are like this guy. They love their spouse. They love their kids. And that’s just the end of it. It’s more or less unconditional.
I don’t you can generalize these things. Many people sure. I don’t think it holds true for most men. For many if not most “Love” is completely conditional on sexual attraction which is most often determined by physical appearance.
My wife has gained 50%of her body weight. She was once 5'9" 140 and is now 210. Physically, she is a completely different person. She ate her way from being a marathon runner to someone who literally can't run due to her size.
I still love her but I am not sexually attracted to her.
Good lord. Op I sympathize. I thought at first it was going to be that she gained 20 pounds or something. But 70?? Woof. How does that even happen? I am a mom with a young child and I am within 3 pounds of my high school weight…which I maintain by exercising when I can and healthy eating. It’s not that hard.
I sounds to me like you have an eating disorder
Anonymous
11/08/2023 19:35
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.
This
Both quotes are likely written by women - try persuade yourself that’s true. Life will show you it’s not. Spouses are only happy if both are overweight but not when one person is into workouts and health and the other eats bags of chips. These are not compatible
I am the poster that says passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says. I am a guy 6’4” 245 and hover around 10-15% body fat. I workout in some form 5-6 days a week. My wife is 5’3” was 125-130 when we we met. She is currently 155-165, and at one point she was over 200lbs. Not for 1 sec has my desire for her ever dipped. She is a beautiful woman. I just want her to be healthy and comfortable that number isn’t for me to decide. So “These” are compatible.
What you wrote just proves my point. You have 29 BMI overweight ; your wife 28.4 also overweight (was obese when over 200). People tend to find attractive what’s close by looks to themselves
I don’t think if you were 6’4 180lbs you would find a 200lbs woman anywhere near attractive
Look. Most people would still love their spouse and find them attractive if they gained weight. Just like most people would still love their kids and enjoy their company even if they didn’t achieve in school/sports/whatever.
I get that this wasn’t your experience. That you weren’t loved as a kid. That you didn’t love your husband of 20 years, and that you don’t love the man you are currently sleeping with. I get that you have chosen to surround yourself with friends who are cheating and screaming at each other in whatever relationship they are in.
But most people are like this guy. They love their spouse. They love their kids. And that’s just the end of it. It’s more or less unconditional.
I don’t you can generalize these things. Many people sure. I don’t think it holds true for most men. For many if not most “Love” is completely conditional on sexual attraction which is most often determined by physical appearance.
My wife has gained 50%of her body weight. She was once 5'9" 140 and is now 210. Physically, she is a completely different person. She ate her way from being a marathon runner to someone who literally can't run due to her size.
I still love her but I am not sexually attracted to her.
She can’t run because she is out of shape. I’m 5’8” and 190lbs, and I just ran five miles yesterday.
If that is true and you keep on doing it you will wreck your knees. That's way too much weight for your height.
Anonymous
11/08/2023 19:34
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:We all gain / lose / carry weight in different ways. Our relationships to bring embodied vary. I grew up in a family of disordered eating and because of nurture and nature (?) have gained a lot of weight during two major difficult times in my life - late teens and my 40s. About 70-80 # each time. And then I lost it when my mental / emotional states changed and I was able to change circumstances around me. In my 40s, I am sure my now XH wasn’t “happy” with my weight gain - but I can see now that weight gain was due to lifestyle shifts (pregnancies, desk job, not enough time for myself), and mostly due to my unhappiness in the marriage. My literal protective barrier. Safety blanket. I do feel like “I let myself go” in that I truly lost my sense of self in the marriage and in that relationship. But I have no shame about my body fluctuation - just compassion for how hard it was on me overall and that my coping mechanism was still to be hard on myself and body.
So - ironically re: the OP and others - your spouses weight gain may be a reflection of how they are truly feeling about you and your relationship.
Actually anyone's weight gain is a reflection of consuming more calories than they use for energy. The difference is stored by the body as adipose tissue. It's simple arithmetic. Eat less.
Anonymous
11/08/2023 19:32
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.
Part of being a good spouse is not enabling the unhealthy attitudes and habits of your partner. But if you're going to insist on doing so, then you share the responsibility. You have to remember that.
If you were a better partner and were not too timid to confront reality, your spouse would be encouraged to be healthier happier and sexier.
If you are satisfied with low standards that doesn't make you some kind of hero.
Anonymous
11/08/2023 19:11
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
talk about your concern for her health. If she’s gained s ton of weight, likely she has high bp, cholesterol. may be prediabetic. a doctor will prescribe ozempic OR offer to pay for it. I lost 45 lb on compounded ozempic online and look smoking hot now. Weight gain from kids and midlife had crept up on me and I’d had it. I wear a size 4 now and rock string bikinis. Weight loss was effortless
Anonymous
11/08/2023 11:10
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:We all gain / lose / carry weight in different ways. Our relationships to bring embodied vary. I grew up in a family of disordered eating and because of nurture and nature (?) have gained a lot of weight during two major difficult times in my life - late teens and my 40s. About 70-80 # each time. And then I lost it when my mental / emotional states changed and I was able to change circumstances around me. In my 40s, I am sure my now XH wasn’t “happy” with my weight gain - but I can see now that weight gain was due to lifestyle shifts (pregnancies, desk job, not enough time for myself), and mostly due to my unhappiness in the marriage. My literal protective barrier. Safety blanket. I do feel like “I let myself go” in that I truly lost my sense of self in the marriage and in that relationship. But I have no shame about my body fluctuation - just compassion for how hard it was on me overall and that my coping mechanism was still to be hard on myself and body.
So - ironically re: the OP and others - your spouses weight gain may be a reflection of how they are truly feeling about you and your relationship.
+1. So much of weight gain is emotional and psychological. My ex was really awful to me and I gained 50 lbs. I lost the weight after we divorced. Being away from the stress of a bad marriage completely changed my outlook on life and myself.
Anonymous
11/08/2023 10:57
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
We all gain / lose / carry weight in different ways. Our relationships to bring embodied vary. I grew up in a family of disordered eating and because of nurture and nature (?) have gained a lot of weight during two major difficult times in my life - late teens and my 40s. About 70-80 # each time. And then I lost it when my mental / emotional states changed and I was able to change circumstances around me. In my 40s, I am sure my now XH wasn’t “happy” with my weight gain - but I can see now that weight gain was due to lifestyle shifts (pregnancies, desk job, not enough time for myself), and mostly due to my unhappiness in the marriage. My literal protective barrier. Safety blanket. I do feel like “I let myself go” in that I truly lost my sense of self in the marriage and in that relationship. But I have no shame about my body fluctuation - just compassion for how hard it was on me overall and that my coping mechanism was still to be hard on myself and body.
So - ironically re: the OP and others - your spouses weight gain may be a reflection of how they are truly feeling about you and your relationship.
So - ironically re: the OP and others - your spouses weight gain may be a reflection of how they are truly feeling about you and your relationship.
Anonymous
11/08/2023 10:42
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.
This
Both quotes are likely written by women - try persuade yourself that’s true. Life will show you it’s not. Spouses are only happy if both are overweight but not when one person is into workouts and health and the other eats bags of chips. These are not compatible
I am the poster that says passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says. I am a guy 6’4” 245 and hover around 10-15% body fat. I workout in some form 5-6 days a week. My wife is 5’3” was 125-130 when we we met. She is currently 155-165, and at one point she was over 200lbs. Not for 1 sec has my desire for her ever dipped. She is a beautiful woman. I just want her to be healthy and comfortable that number isn’t for me to decide. So “These” are compatible.
What you wrote just proves my point. You have 29 BMI overweight ; your wife 28.4 also overweight (was obese when over 200). People tend to find attractive what’s close by looks to themselves
I don’t think if you were 6’4 180lbs you would find a 200lbs woman anywhere near attractive
Look. Most people would still love their spouse and find them attractive if they gained weight. Just like most people would still love their kids and enjoy their company even if they didn’t achieve in school/sports/whatever.
I get that this wasn’t your experience. That you weren’t loved as a kid. That you didn’t love your husband of 20 years, and that you don’t love the man you are currently sleeping with. I get that you have chosen to surround yourself with friends who are cheating and screaming at each other in whatever relationship they are in.
But most people are like this guy. They love their spouse. They love their kids. And that’s just the end of it. It’s more or less unconditional.
I don’t you can generalize these things. Many people sure. I don’t think it holds true for most men. For many if not most “Love” is completely conditional on sexual attraction which is most often determined by physical appearance.
My wife has gained 50%of her body weight. She was once 5'9" 140 and is now 210. Physically, she is a completely different person. She ate her way from being a marathon runner to someone who literally can't run due to her size.
I still love her but I am not sexually attracted to her.
She can’t run because she is out of shape. I’m 5’8” and 190lbs, and I just ran five miles yesterday.
That sounds terrible for your body. Lose weight first.
I’m fine, thank you for your concern!
Anonymous
11/08/2023 08:39
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.
This
Both quotes are likely written by women - try persuade yourself that’s true. Life will show you it’s not. Spouses are only happy if both are overweight but not when one person is into workouts and health and the other eats bags of chips. These are not compatible
I am the poster that says passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says. I am a guy 6’4” 245 and hover around 10-15% body fat. I workout in some form 5-6 days a week. My wife is 5’3” was 125-130 when we we met. She is currently 155-165, and at one point she was over 200lbs. Not for 1 sec has my desire for her ever dipped. She is a beautiful woman. I just want her to be healthy and comfortable that number isn’t for me to decide. So “These” are compatible.
What you wrote just proves my point. You have 29 BMI overweight ; your wife 28.4 also overweight (was obese when over 200). People tend to find attractive what’s close by looks to themselves
I don’t think if you were 6’4 180lbs you would find a 200lbs woman anywhere near attractive
Look. Most people would still love their spouse and find them attractive if they gained weight. Just like most people would still love their kids and enjoy their company even if they didn’t achieve in school/sports/whatever.
I get that this wasn’t your experience. That you weren’t loved as a kid. That you didn’t love your husband of 20 years, and that you don’t love the man you are currently sleeping with. I get that you have chosen to surround yourself with friends who are cheating and screaming at each other in whatever relationship they are in.
But most people are like this guy. They love their spouse. They love their kids. And that’s just the end of it. It’s more or less unconditional.
I don’t you can generalize these things. Many people sure. I don’t think it holds true for most men. For many if not most “Love” is completely conditional on sexual attraction which is most often determined by physical appearance.
My wife has gained 50%of her body weight. She was once 5'9" 140 and is now 210. Physically, she is a completely different person. She ate her way from being a marathon runner to someone who literally can't run due to her size.
I still love her but I am not sexually attracted to her.
Good lord. Op I sympathize. I thought at first it was going to be that she gained 20 pounds or something. But 70?? Woof. How does that even happen? I am a mom with a young child and I am within 3 pounds of my high school weight…which I maintain by exercising when I can and healthy eating. It’s not that hard.
Anonymous
11/08/2023 08:27
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.
This
Both quotes are likely written by women - try persuade yourself that’s true. Life will show you it’s not. Spouses are only happy if both are overweight but not when one person is into workouts and health and the other eats bags of chips. These are not compatible
I am the poster that says passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says. I am a guy 6’4” 245 and hover around 10-15% body fat. I workout in some form 5-6 days a week. My wife is 5’3” was 125-130 when we we met. She is currently 155-165, and at one point she was over 200lbs. Not for 1 sec has my desire for her ever dipped. She is a beautiful woman. I just want her to be healthy and comfortable that number isn’t for me to decide. So “These” are compatible.
What you wrote just proves my point. You have 29 BMI overweight ; your wife 28.4 also overweight (was obese when over 200). People tend to find attractive what’s close by looks to themselves
I don’t think if you were 6’4 180lbs you would find a 200lbs woman anywhere near attractive
Look. Most people would still love their spouse and find them attractive if they gained weight. Just like most people would still love their kids and enjoy their company even if they didn’t achieve in school/sports/whatever.
I get that this wasn’t your experience. That you weren’t loved as a kid. That you didn’t love your husband of 20 years, and that you don’t love the man you are currently sleeping with. I get that you have chosen to surround yourself with friends who are cheating and screaming at each other in whatever relationship they are in.
But most people are like this guy. They love their spouse. They love their kids. And that’s just the end of it. It’s more or less unconditional.
I don’t you can generalize these things. Many people sure. I don’t think it holds true for most men. For many if not most “Love” is completely conditional on sexual attraction which is most often determined by physical appearance.
My wife has gained 50%of her body weight. She was once 5'9" 140 and is now 210. Physically, she is a completely different person. She ate her way from being a marathon runner to someone who literally can't run due to her size.
I still love her but I am not sexually attracted to her.
She can’t run because she is out of shape. I’m 5’8” and 190lbs, and I just ran five miles yesterday.
That sounds terrible for your body. Lose weight first.
Anonymous
11/08/2023 08:23
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.
This
Both quotes are likely written by women - try persuade yourself that’s true. Life will show you it’s not. Spouses are only happy if both are overweight but not when one person is into workouts and health and the other eats bags of chips. These are not compatible
I am the poster that says passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says. I am a guy 6’4” 245 and hover around 10-15% body fat. I workout in some form 5-6 days a week. My wife is 5’3” was 125-130 when we we met. She is currently 155-165, and at one point she was over 200lbs. Not for 1 sec has my desire for her ever dipped. She is a beautiful woman. I just want her to be healthy and comfortable that number isn’t for me to decide. So “These” are compatible.
What you wrote just proves my point. You have 29 BMI overweight ; your wife 28.4 also overweight (was obese when over 200). People tend to find attractive what’s close by looks to themselves
I don’t think if you were 6’4 180lbs you would find a 200lbs woman anywhere near attractive
Look. Most people would still love their spouse and find them attractive if they gained weight. Just like most people would still love their kids and enjoy their company even if they didn’t achieve in school/sports/whatever.
I get that this wasn’t your experience. That you weren’t loved as a kid. That you didn’t love your husband of 20 years, and that you don’t love the man you are currently sleeping with. I get that you have chosen to surround yourself with friends who are cheating and screaming at each other in whatever relationship they are in.
But most people are like this guy. They love their spouse. They love their kids. And that’s just the end of it. It’s more or less unconditional.
I don’t you can generalize these things. Many people sure. I don’t think it holds true for most men. For many if not most “Love” is completely conditional on sexual attraction which is most often determined by physical appearance.
My wife has gained 50%of her body weight. She was once 5'9" 140 and is now 210. Physically, she is a completely different person. She ate her way from being a marathon runner to someone who literally can't run due to her size.
I still love her but I am not sexually attracted to her.
She can’t run because she is out of shape. I’m 5’8” and 190lbs, and I just ran five miles yesterday.
Anonymous
11/06/2023 18:24
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.
This
Both quotes are likely written by women - try persuade yourself that’s true. Life will show you it’s not. Spouses are only happy if both are overweight but not when one person is into workouts and health and the other eats bags of chips. These are not compatible
I am the poster that says passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says. I am a guy 6’4” 245 and hover around 10-15% body fat. I workout in some form 5-6 days a week. My wife is 5’3” was 125-130 when we we met. She is currently 155-165, and at one point she was over 200lbs. Not for 1 sec has my desire for her ever dipped. She is a beautiful woman. I just want her to be healthy and comfortable that number isn’t for me to decide. So “These” are compatible.
What you wrote just proves my point. You have 29 BMI overweight ; your wife 28.4 also overweight (was obese when over 200). People tend to find attractive what’s close by looks to themselves
I don’t think if you were 6’4 180lbs you would find a 200lbs woman anywhere near attractive
Look. Most people would still love their spouse and find them attractive if they gained weight. Just like most people would still love their kids and enjoy their company even if they didn’t achieve in school/sports/whatever.
I get that this wasn’t your experience. That you weren’t loved as a kid. That you didn’t love your husband of 20 years, and that you don’t love the man you are currently sleeping with. I get that you have chosen to surround yourself with friends who are cheating and screaming at each other in whatever relationship they are in.
But most people are like this guy. They love their spouse. They love their kids. And that’s just the end of it. It’s more or less unconditional.
I don’t you can generalize these things. Many people sure. I don’t think it holds true for most men. For many if not most “Love” is completely conditional on sexual attraction which is most often determined by physical appearance.
My wife has gained 50%of her body weight. She was once 5'9" 140 and is now 210. Physically, she is a completely different person. She ate her way from being a marathon runner to someone who literally can't run due to her size.
I still love her but I am not sexually attracted to her.
No way that someone who could train to run for miles would let herself go like this. I call troll.
Really? You don’t know people who competed in these long events in their 20s and are now in their 50s after kids and too much work? It’s not rare.
Anonymous
11/06/2023 08:55
Subject: Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:As a guy I can’t imagine why I would need to bring this up? Is she really less attractive?
Passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says.
This
Both quotes are likely written by women - try persuade yourself that’s true. Life will show you it’s not. Spouses are only happy if both are overweight but not when one person is into workouts and health and the other eats bags of chips. These are not compatible
I am the poster that says passion for my wife runs a lot deeper than what a scale says. I am a guy 6’4” 245 and hover around 10-15% body fat. I workout in some form 5-6 days a week. My wife is 5’3” was 125-130 when we we met. She is currently 155-165, and at one point she was over 200lbs. Not for 1 sec has my desire for her ever dipped. She is a beautiful woman. I just want her to be healthy and comfortable that number isn’t for me to decide. So “These” are compatible.
What you wrote just proves my point. You have 29 BMI overweight ; your wife 28.4 also overweight (was obese when over 200). People tend to find attractive what’s close by looks to themselves
I don’t think if you were 6’4 180lbs you would find a 200lbs woman anywhere near attractive
Look. Most people would still love their spouse and find them attractive if they gained weight. Just like most people would still love their kids and enjoy their company even if they didn’t achieve in school/sports/whatever.
I get that this wasn’t your experience. That you weren’t loved as a kid. That you didn’t love your husband of 20 years, and that you don’t love the man you are currently sleeping with. I get that you have chosen to surround yourself with friends who are cheating and screaming at each other in whatever relationship they are in.
But most people are like this guy. They love their spouse. They love their kids. And that’s just the end of it. It’s more or less unconditional.
I don’t you can generalize these things. Many people sure. I don’t think it holds true for most men. For many if not most “Love” is completely conditional on sexual attraction which is most often determined by physical appearance.
My wife has gained 50%of her body weight. She was once 5'9" 140 and is now 210. Physically, she is a completely different person. She ate her way from being a marathon runner to someone who literally can't run due to her size.
I still love her but I am not sexually attracted to her.
No way that someone who could train to run for miles would let herself go like this. I call troll.
Call me whatever you like. It was a slow 20 year slide. Not like she fell off the cliff and gained 70 pounds all at ounce. She was always an "eater," she just did enough exercise to compensate. Then along came a daughter (who she helicopters and caters to), slowing metabolism after 35, an interest in things spiritual over things physical (not feeling like she had to prove herself anymore with physical challenges), increased challenges with her job, mental health issues (addiction problems run in her family, her addictions are food and weed), and perimenopause.
I myself prioritize staying relatively fit. My dad died in his 50's and I've made it my life's goal since then to exercise every day, and not go too crazy with food or anything else. Admittedly, she is the more involved parent, the harder working career person, and does more of the housework (not that I'm a total slouch at any of them, but she's just prioritizes all of them. to the detriment of not prioritizing her health.)