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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]@18:05 I think from my experiences in the DMV that kids that get a free ride party at bars in their 20's - while my friends that paid their way worked hard though their 20's to pay loans or pay as they went. So, in my experience, all their parents did was pay their bar bills in their 20's not their actual education.

So that is my argument. Of course maybe it does not apply to your sister and nephew who may have spent these years teaching for America or something that gave back. But very few do that.

I don't disagree with the ex that the nephew should pay his way and if you sister disagrees that is her prerogative.

You said "she was not getting alimony" which is living off the dole because that is no longer a family decision.  I am not against a women staying at home but I am against whining about not making the same money as somebody that did not SAH. I am not a SAH person hater. I am a hater of whiners that complain about "not having it all" either you work and you have money or you dont work and you don't have money. It's not that confusing.

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Sorry your 20s sucked, hope you are enjoying paying that bitterness forward.

I have many friends that paid their own way through college and managed to enjoy their 20s plenty.

"Alimony" after a long term marriage where a parent was out of the workforce long term to attempt in small part to account for the differences in earning power that resulted from family decisions is not "living off the dole."  My understanding is that courts these days generally attempt to create a "glide path" for reentering the workforce when coming out of a long term marriage (and even short term marriages).  You seem to be of the opinion that the parent that worked while the other stayed home did not benefit from the parent staying home and the SAHM was a freeloader and thus divorce means the end of the gravy train for that SAHM.  When you pool your resources to make family decisions there are many long term costs and benefits, not all of them shared equally on an individual basis.  Leaving the marriage does not mean it is unreasonable for the court to attempt to address this lack of equity however imperfectly.  Again, this is not "the dole," this is a court trying to break up a messy partnership equitably.

All that said, as I stated above there was no alimony because she never asked for it so even under your scenario as I explained initially she was never took any of "the dole".  She took minimal assistance to help with the child expenses, which was again not the "dole" because he was contributing to supporting his children.  Her ex has no idea how lucky he has it that she did not want to be reliant on him.

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