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Reply to "Friend group is blowing up due to rift between teen girls"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve decided that unfortunately mom friends have an expiration date. It’s almost always too awkward to continue socializing when your kids are gojng in different directions. It’s a huge bummer. But I think you should go for a drink with the other mom. Just say you are bummed the girls aren’t as close as they once were but kids grow up and make their own choices and it looks like your girls just aren’t in the same place right now. But you hope you adults can still be friends because you do really like hanging out. And maybe some day your daughters will find their way back to each other as friends. I e seen that happen too — in 3 years they could be in the same club and want to hang out again. This age is particularly rough because kids are trying on new identities and stuff is very much in flux.[/quote] NP here and I think generally this is true. However, my DD and my friend's DD were friends and then had some huge blow-out maybe in 8th or 9th--not exactly sure about what, because I didn't get too involved. Anyways, the other mom and me would walk or hike every Tuesday morning. We continued to do that. We have acknowledged that our kids don't interact or get along, the most that has been said about it is something along the lines like "they are too much alike, too rigid" Our kids oddly went to the same college across the country and are in adjacent dorms, and still don't interact. They are 20 now. Over the high school years, the mom and I still kept our weekly walking date, and also we each discussed when our kids were difficult. (both our kids can be difficult). We never tell our kids what is going on with the other kid. It works! But it was because both moms were on the same page as to how to handle it. But this situation OP describes, the other mom is setting up to blow it for everyone. OP, agree with this PP and other PPs who say to let the mom know that you thought your DD didn't handle it well, that you instructed her how to handle it better, and you are sorry that her DD was hurt. And that you are staying out of her affairs as "our kids are teens and we moms can guide our kids, but have to let them work it out themselves" etc[/quote]
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