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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am curious why sexual monogamy seems to be the be all and end all of what people think of as marital commitment.  Let's say your spouse - DW or DH - did all the right things:  took care of you when sick, put a roof over your and the kids head, food on the table, was otherwise caring and loving and a good parent and then.... you found out they had a one night stand on a business trip. Would thatmake you want to blow up your whole world and that of your kids?  Marraige is very very complicated. [/quote]

I don't get it either. If you told me which is a graver sin of: 1) [b]my wife spending all of our money recklessly[/b]; 2) neglecting our children; 3) [b]being emotionally or physically cruel[/b]; 4) [b]sleeping with some dude from work on a road trip[/b].....it almost sounds silly to type it out.[/quote]

My STBX did all of the above, and I could've handled the cheating, but the other stuff were all the real dealbreakers.  [/quote]

Cheating isn't an isolated incident. Cheaters have issues.  And to cheat, almost all will become emotionally, abusive and critical at home. Cheating also requires choosing someone else over family time/work, etc.  Anyone in an affair is no joy at home.[/quote]

I know. It's like these people think cheating is some impulsive thing done once in your life after celebrating a work accomplishment overseas and it never infiltrates into any part of your life and somehow you are magically cured and that impulse came and went. And that guy who thinks no one says vows anymore and means them? I don't know about this site. There is no way that person deals with life honestly other than cheating. We dated for 2 years, were engaged for a year, invited all our family and friends, went on a honeymoon, had a nice house and kids and good stable jobs and family help. He was cheating even on our vacations and spending our family money. And then blamed us for his own negligence at home knowing full well he was living a double life. This is the typical cheater. Living a completely double life for years and doing other reckless things and being a jerk at home or being overly kind to make up for their cheating. Hot and cold. I think people are confusing someone wanting to have sex outside of the relationship and opening up the relationship with cheating. These aren't the same things.[/quote]

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