Reply to Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?

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Reply to "Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To the PP who's so offended by my use of the term "gender stereotyping":  First off, when men start opting to stay home as often as women do, then maybe it won't be a gender sterotype.  But until then, yes, it's somehow usually the woman's job to leave the work force and stay home taking care of the kids and the house.  (Because she makes so much less money.  And I won't even go into why THAT'S the case.)  And second, let's not forget what gave you your much-vaunted "choice":  a husband.  No man, no "choice".  No wonder you're so defensive. Face it; some of us decided to stay home and our kids did great.  Others decided to work and our kids also did great.  Neither option guarantees a perfect outcome, as you will one day realize.[/quote]

I understand what a stereotype is.  What I am asking you to understand is that making the decision to SAH was not driven by stereotypes, or because DH expected me to, because 'society' expected me to, or because I was less skilled or making so much less than DH.  I was making slightly more.  I wanted to care for my own children full time.  You apparently think it makes no difference whether children have a SAH parent - I beg to differ.

You might think this is terribly old-fashioned too, but um, no husband, no "child."  At least in my case.  And who said anything about having idealized visions of "perfect outcomes?"  Things are not "perfect", even now.  But please do not reduce my decision to dedicate some years full time to my kids as a poor little woman succumbing to stereotypes.

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I agreed up until the part of making a difference having a SAH parent.  I think you can SAH and kids do great and you can WAH and kids do great.  You could even be coming up with a hybrid of being part-time when the kids are older and the kids can do great.  Believe it or not I know people with happy well-adjusted kids in college where the parents covered the spectrum of work situations including single mom.  If you think about it our parents generation Had SAH parents and you still had crime, addiction, affairs, abuse, all the human failings that have been around since the beginning of time.  IF you want to say it was important to you, go ahead.  The minute you start to imply somehow someone with a different choice is going to resign their kids to a certain path, I have to disagree.[/quote]

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