Reply to Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?

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Reply to "Do you secretly resent DH for not making enough money for you to be a SAHM?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Ooookay, Donna Reed. What options did DH have if "it goes both ways"?

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Option #1: He could have decided not to marry me, because he knew my desire to care for my own children should we have any before we married.  But it made him love me more, not scare him away.

Option #2:  He could have stayed home and I would have stayed in the job that was making more than his at the time (his salary has now far surpassed that)  I would have supported that if he had a strong desire to SAH, but I wanted to more than he did.

Option #3:  He could have balked post birth of first DC and said he's changed his mind about being the sole provider and we would have worked something else out. (There was a short period of time (a few months) when things were tough in the beginning of DH's career and I did contract work to help out - I didn't throw my hands up in the air and say "its all you, babe!"

Option #4:  He could have decided that he did not want to have two more DCs after the first if the pressure was too much.

[/quote]

I wasn't the poster that asked if things went both ways (were you willing for DH to be the SAH) but I had the same question.  I totally respect your answer.  I think your willingness to work towards being able to stay at home, willingness to let DH be SAH if he wanted, and willingness to take on extra work when you needed to is a far cry from expecting to be supported and any assumption that to had to be the woman's role to do x.[/quote]

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