Reply to S/O Has demanding sex ever actually worked for anyone?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Other way around. I told DH that we weren't having enough sex. While he seemed content and with little interest, I was not very happy. I told him how displeased and unsatisfied I was. It did manage to turn things around and he's making more of an effort to initiate. We've both made adjustments.

So yes, it does work when one party communicates with the other party. If you're not happy, why would you keep it to yourself?[/quote]

+1.  I find it odd that so many people here think the issue shouldn't be discussed and, to the extent its a dealbreaker, to let your partner know.[/quote]

I mentioned in one of these threads that communicating this to my wife was actively counterproductive. In addition to the existing reasons for not wanting to have sex with me (her body image issues, hormones, lack of novelty in a long-term marriage) now she had the pressure of knowing that I was not happy with our sex life which added to her lack of libido. And, when she did have sex with me, it wasn't as good because I now had the suspicion she might just be doing it out of a sense of obligation. [/quote]

Women don’t care that much about novelty. If anything, the love and trust that grow with your sense of familiarity with your spouse enhances both the amount and quality of sex. 
[/quote]

Speak for yourself.  I'm a woman in my mid 50s and I really crave novelty. I'd take it with my husband, but [b]he likes to do things the exact same way every time.  [/b]We're way too familiar with each other. Doesn't help me at all [/quote]

Oh honey that's not novelty you crave. Your husband is selfish and bad in bed. The bolded means he is NOT a good lover. [/quote]

I tend to agree. DH and I do it the exact way every single time and have for years (well, one of two ways: our laying down routine and our shower routine). I am surprised to say it hasn’t gotten old after, like 12 years when we fell into this routine. I know a lot of women do really crave novelty and that is totally normal, but I find myself happy with doing the same old thing again and again, probably because we are both so satisfied at the end. DH would do anything I asked for and I do anything he asks for. I think that novelty can be hot and make up for something you would otherwise want, like lots of foreplay, but I’m not sure people know that they could really be content with doing the exact same thing over and over again. [/quote]

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