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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I guess this is not the right place to ask this. I’m still a little surprised with most saying they would never sign a prenup considering this forum is filled with divorced people, people having affairs, and people who hate their spouses.

The prenup is to protect my businesses and certain assets. Any money we earn once married is considered “ ours” and she will have full access to. I don’t plan to get divorced but divorce rates are high.

I’m fine with a woman who wants to keep her career but I would prefer a woman who wants to take time off and be a SAHM while the kids are young.

I want a woman who is kind, attractive, smart, etc. I didn’t say those because they’re a given. Everyone wants that. Everyone wants to be married to a kind, loving, attractive, funny, and faithful person.

I want a true marriage. I do not want a mail order bride or someone young. I’m looking for a woman over 30 who is mature.

I have never cheated and never will. Divorce is not something I want.

At 37, I feel it’s normal to be single. Many people are getting married later in life. The PP who said having a kid at 40 means a child with special needs is wrong and insensitive. Many men and women have children at 40 or over 40 who do not have special needs. The age increases the chances, but that doesn’t mean it will happen in every case.

I can afford the lifestyle I want. I do think it’s ridiculous that some people on here think you can’t raise children with less than $400. I’ve known many families who have made less and still live in move homes, send their kids to private schools, and outsource help.

I want children. I will be part of their lives as much as possible. I will not be around as much in the earlier years because I want to set my family up for a great life. I’ve known many people who have similar situations.

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I agree with the posters that suggested a match maker.  Also maybe look at people you knew in college so there might be more trust/knowledge of who you are.  It’s not that you can’t find any one thing you are looking for, it’s that the combinations are not that common.  There are women that are SAHMs and willing to be the default parent but most don’t want to sign a prenup.  The SAHMs that I know where the husband owns a business, they see themselves as a team.  Sometimes the wife in the early years had the job with the benefits and the medical insurance for the family when the husband was starting out.  That idea of both people being part of a team building something together for the family isn’t really compatible with signing a prenup for the business/main source of the family income to protect one person.  I also know woman that would have no problem signing a fair prenup but if they are in their 30’s and independent where “the man is not the plan” they wouldn’t want to give up their opportunity to build their own wealth to cater to their husband AND have him not involved with the kids until they are 7 or 8.  You want someone smart and not desperate in their early 30’s who is romantic and loves you for who you are and has enough going on to have other options but is willing to make you the center of their world while being okay with you not trusting them and insisting on a prenup.  That’s not going to be an easy combination.

I know you hold up your parents marriage as the dream, but did your mom sign a prenup and marry your dad in her early 30’s?  If they married young and/or she helped him build his business and/or she didn’t sign a prenup you have to realize it’s not the same situation that you are in or asking of another woman.  Also, how did your mom feel about shouldering the majority of the household until your dad was established once the kids were older?  Did she have other options? My MIL stayed home with the kids the first five years and is the first to say “that’s what you did back then” - it wasn’t necessarily her first choice.   You want someone to be like your mom was but do you really know what it was like from her perspective?[/quote]

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