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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your mortgage debt does not lower your net worth if it, you know, comes with a house.

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+1 are you underwater on the house? on the green side, you should be soft-counting the value of your house. I say soft-counting because eggs and hatching and all, but it is a more realistic financial picture. [/quote]

OP here, you both identified why I am in the legal field working in a non-financial practice! I am not underwater on my house but only 2 years into a 30 year mortgage. Taking the mortgage and equity out of the picture would put me at less than negative half a million. That certainly seems more surmountable even if it takes a decade or so.

To the others offering lifestyle advice: thank you, but I am learning as I go. I don't have major credit card debt now as I learned that lesson carrying maxed out credit cards through undergrad and law school. I have no idea how griping about owning a townhouse is "keeping up with the Joneses" or living beyond my means as we are very comfortable even after replacing the HVAC and poor DIY renovations from the previous cheap skate owner. Again, I am just asking when the upper middle class life, which is obviously a status worth striving for here in the US, becomes comfortable.[/quote]

It felt comfortable when we were bringing home a lot more than we needed to spend and we were years away from retirement and college tuition (early 40s were the golden years for us). You will feel better when what you owe on your house and student loans is a smaller amount than what you have in the bank. The simple reason is that, no matter what happens, you can remove money and pay of your house and loans- you would be cash and retirement poor, but it's a comfort. We also felt comfortable when we were both carrying a lot of money in life insurance and my husband who makes the lion's share of our money has long term disability insurance. 
You probably already know to invest your money where it will bring the most return - tax deferred, employer matching programs. An unpopular tip is that you save money by not spending it- when it feels possible, figure out how to live happily below your means without giving up the truly necessary enjoyment. For instance, I will drive a car into the ground if it means I can travel. Technically, I can have both, but cars are expensive and inessential to my day-to-day happiness. Do this even when your income is high- many people are laid off, life happens and someone can't work, you or your spouse want freedom to pursue a lower track career that makes you happier. [/quote]

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