Reply to Slightly Irritating Things Your In-Laws Do

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I try to think of it as MIL not feeling empowered to live her truth.

Basically she doesn’t actually want to have to watch the kids or cook us things or run errands, but she constantly begs/insists that she wants/needs to do these things.  So for recent kid birthday, she asked me the menu, what can she bring, I told her I am making XYZ, would you like to bring A?  A long rant about how ai am taking on too much, she is retired, she has so much time, she wants to help!  I said, okay, well, would tou like to do A, B, or C.  All three!  Yes, please let me help!

Week of the party she complained to DH nonstop for days about how she had so much on her plate and how was she going to get it all done.

I keep saying “never again” but about once a year I forget and we have to repeat the whole disaster.[/quote]

This is my MIL too. She will chase you to the sink in an attempt to take over doing dishes. And then tell everyone back at home how we need sooooo much help and how her cooking and cleaning saved us.  The thing is, we're 2 childless adults with no pets. We don't need a cook or a cleaner. So I was very consistent in saying we don't need her help in scrubbing dishes, that's what the dishwasher is for.  [/quote]

This is my mother.  She lives in another state and always says she can't wait to visit and "help".  She never helps.  She once came for a week while my husband was out of town and watched the kids at home instead of sending them to daycare.  She kept talking about all the meals she would make us.  Each night I came home to no meals cooked and had to scramble to put something together she would eat, and then she'd criticize me for our hectic evenings.  At the end of the visit, she'll cry and say she wishes she could have been a help.  Then she seems to go home and brag to her friends about how much help we needed and how invaluable she is.  It drives me nuts!  (Before anyone jumps on me, I don't expect her to cook and know babysitting is more than enough, she just insists she is going to, has me buy ingredients, and then just doesn't do any of it.  It's the same for lunch while I'm at the office.  She just lets the kids grab snacks because she doesn't feel like making sandwiches.)[/quote]

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