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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]LOL I love you all are refusing to believe that a MAN could have a preference on hosting a holiday.

My husband doesn't like my mom's turkey.  Since he entered the family he's been lobbying for us (as in me and him) to host.  We've done it once (DH cooked the turkey, I did sides), and my sister has done it twice since then - turns out none of liked my mom's thanksgiving parties.

OP has said over and over that her husband was part of this plan from the beginning. Why do you find that so hard to believe?[/quote]

People just like the trope of the evil DIL who is trying to shut the MIL out of her life. [/quote]

Honestly, I really don't.  I have a problematic MIL and step-mother. I have loads of crazy relatives.  I have relatives I've had to cut off.  Something about OP gives me a spidey-sense that she's the problematic one in this scenario.  Maybe I'm just prejudiced about people who put opportunity to show off their "fine china" over family traditions ... [/quote]

Hello? Maybe other members of the family want to make holiday memories and traditions in their homes! Yeah, and maybe they do want to show off their cooking skills and their china. So what? Why is it OK for MIL to want and get all those things, but not others?[/quote]

Again, OP hosts IN HER OWN HOME already.  This is about OP "getting" this particular holiday, with her Inlaws.  Not about hosting in general.  [/quote]

OP here. How does me hosting my family sometimes equal my kids having a sleepover in our basement with their DH-side cousins? How does it equal “spa” time in my home with my SIL, who loves the jacuzzi at my house? How does it equal basketball games in our driveway with BIL? [/quote]

You do know you can get all those things by inviting your BIL's family to your home for any weekend any time you want, right? Apart from whether or not you also host at holidays.[/quote]

And you do know that with sports and school schedules, and work schedules--*and an annual beach vacation planned by MIL and paid for by everyone with DH's family*--that the holidays are a rare and perfect time to spend time with DH's family? And you do know that there is a different feeling when you celebrate a holiday together vs. a random weekend in April, right?[/quote]

Nobody is saying that your desire to have your inlaws over is wrong.  The point is - why can't you compromise with your MIL, if Thanksgiving is especially important to her?  [/quote]

OMG, some more, again: Thanksgiving is not "especially important to her." She wants literally every holiday at her house: Easter, Independence Day, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Every. Year. We have done it this way every year for seven years! I "got" to host Easter ONE TIME because I couldn't travel with a difficult pregnancy. One time, in seven years, have we hosted a holiday with DH's family in our home.[/quote]

So she wants what she wants; you want what you want.  You just say, "MIL we decided not to travel to you for Thanksgiving this year, but you're welcome at our house." Instead you have to make a huge production out of hosting EVERYONE, and using your crystal and china.  What you seem to really want is for everyone to think your MIL is a terrible person.  [/quote]

Oh, come on. Now I'm done. How far are you reaching with that? I want everyone to think MIL is a terrible person. Yes, you caught me.

Have at it, DCUM. I'm done.[/quote]

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