Reply to Tension with Wife's Family over Finances

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[quote=Anonymous]I haven't read all the posts, but I'm am with you OP. If they didn't want to pay for college so be it, though strange for a wealthy person, but you at least guide your kid toward scholarships and state school or community college first. They sound cheap and super strange with money.

My father made a lot and my parents lived well. They insisted I must go to any ivy, when I was perfectly happy to go to state school. Then no thank you was enough for my mother-guilt trips constantly over the cost. She used to make all sorts of offers like if I didn't have a wedding, we'd get the money to use as we please. We didn't have a wedding and didn't get the money. I could write for pages about all the dances with money. I basically didn't engage with her at all when it came to money-your money-your choice but stop dangling carrots. We also stopped doing anything with her that involves money. She would then try to make me jealous telling me the expensive financial gifts she gave to others and I had to make it clear again-your money your choice, but I will not engage with this.

Over the years we have occasionally had friends who were strange with money. One couple would order the most expensive dishes and then drink like fish. We are on a budget and order low price and only drink water. Of course they would want to split 50-50 and then they wanted to be cheap for the tip so ended up paying 75% of the tip so the server got more money. We just won't do dinner with them. We'll meet up for a free outdoor concert or something like that. It works.

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