Reply to I forgot my friend’s kid’s nut allergy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Closing a pool gate when toddlers are around is not the same thing as a bowl of wrapped candy bars, some of which contain nuts, to a group of 11 year olds!

Parents who think the world is responsible for their kid with nut allergies would be better never leaving their side.[/quote]

The world? No. The adults who voluntarily take responsibility for our children knowing they have serious allergies? Absolutely.

And yes, serving a bowl of candy with nuts to a kid with allergies is exactly as irresponsible as leaving a pool gate open when you’ve got toddlers around. Maybe it will be fine! And maybe it really won’t. And either way you have a dead child in your house with no one to blame but yourself.[/quote]

11 year olds are not the same as toddlers.[/quote]

So the doctor who visited Disneyworld, had a lengthy conversation with servers about her allergies, confirmed with them, then had an allergic reaction, administered her epi-pen and had paramedics on the scene, and then died of the allergy exposure was “acting like a toddler”?
https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/disney-world-food-allergy-death-lawsuit-long-island-doctor/

Or did negligence from the people who were supposed to keep her safe—the staff who talked with her and confirmed about allergens—fail? [/quote]

In OPs story the mom nor the kid never checked with her to confirm the allergens in the food. Analogy fail.[/quote]

This was a mom who knew about the allergy. Probably she’s told the other mom 100 times, “Of course, yes, I remember Timmy is allergic to nuts! I even bought blah blah blah…”[/quote]

She knew and still forgot. Are you shocked? So your remind 101 times.[/quote]

The thing that’s shocking is the effort to evade responsibility. Which means even if she’d been reminded, she’d be looking to blame anyone but herself. [/quote]

Because her friend handled it badly. A friendly reminder and chat for something that wasn’t an emergency is appropriate. [/quote]

She is trying to evade responsibility for the initial event— which means she wants someone to tell her it’s totally fine that she served a kid with allergies nuts because the kid didn’t come up and say hey why did you give me this, or the mom didn’t remind again. The moms
response is irrelevant— OP was wrong, needs to feel mortified and do better, not look around to see who she can blame.[/quote]

I think you need to go back and reread the initial post, in which the OP states,

"I goofed. . . . In all the chaos, I totally spaced out when planning DS’s birthday party. . . . I was mortified, admitted I had been completely preoccupied lately and had simply forgotten his nut allergy since I hadn’t seen him in a while. I apologized profusely[.]"

Sounds to me like she takes responsibility.

One thing that has been lost in the (often ridiculous) back and forth is the reason for the irate text.  From the OP, "The next day I got a nasty text from my friend, wondering why I had served candy with nuts [b]when it was so upsetting to her son.[/b]"

In other words, the friend wasn't afraid that her kid could have come to harm, but was angry that he was upset that others had nuts.  That's ridiculous.   [/quote]

DP.  I don’t think it’s ridiculous.  Long time family friend at worst could have killed her kid and at best made him feel completely excluded from the festivities.

I don’t think OP is a bad person and obviously she didn’t do it on purpose, but I also don’t think friend’s “WTF, OP?” is out of line…[/quote]

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