Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Even people whose toddlers drown say they don't let them play by the pool. But accidents happen. You don't seem to grasp that. You think if someone says "Got it!" nothing bad will happen.

Accidents happen, but there’s a difference between the idea that accidents happen and the idea that adults aren’t responsible for keeping children in their care safe. It’s why some accidents result in prosecution.

Threatening people is meaningless. An accident is an accident. Nobody here forced the kid to eat candy or lied about it. Having nut candy is not illegal.

Who was threatened?

Having a car is not illegal— the accident happening where you leave your kid in it when it’s hot and they die can result in prosecution.

Having a pool is it illegal; pool owners are often sued for negligence when children (AND adults over the age to know better, which is higher than eleven) die in their pools.

And Disney is currently facing legal action for their response to a nut allergy of an adult physician who had the most opportunity possible to “know better”.

I realize you don’t like kids with allergies. That doesn’t mean you are allowed to put them in danger.

Pools are an attractive nuisance, allergens aren’t.

See what your homeowners insurance says when the kids health insurance sues you, which happens over much less negligence. Something tells me “bowl full of candy in a dark room with an eleven year old” is precisely going to meet the definition, especially since OP was well aware of the dangerous allergy.

You are not a lawyer. Stop trying play one.

You don’t need to be a lawyer to know that you are responsible for the safety of minor guests in your home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Even people whose toddlers drown say they don't let them play by the pool. But accidents happen. You don't seem to grasp that. You think if someone says "Got it!" nothing bad will happen.

Accidents happen, but there’s a difference between the idea that accidents happen and the idea that adults aren’t responsible for keeping children in their care safe. It’s why some accidents result in prosecution.

Threatening people is meaningless. An accident is an accident. Nobody here forced the kid to eat candy or lied about it. Having nut candy is not illegal.

Who was threatened?

Having a car is not illegal— the accident happening where you leave your kid in it when it’s hot and they die can result in prosecution.

Having a pool is it illegal; pool owners are often sued for negligence when children (AND adults over the age to know better, which is higher than eleven) die in their pools.

And Disney is currently facing legal action for their response to a nut allergy of an adult physician who had the most opportunity possible to “know better”.

I realize you don’t like kids with allergies. That doesn’t mean you are allowed to put them in danger.

Pools are an attractive nuisance, allergens aren’t.

See what your homeowners insurance says when the kids health insurance sues you, which happens over much less negligence. Something tells me “bowl full of candy in a dark room with an eleven year old” is precisely going to meet the definition, especially since OP was well aware of the dangerous allergy.

You are not a lawyer. Stop trying play one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Even people whose toddlers drown say they don't let them play by the pool. But accidents happen. You don't seem to grasp that. You think if someone says "Got it!" nothing bad will happen.

Accidents happen, but there’s a difference between the idea that accidents happen and the idea that adults aren’t responsible for keeping children in their care safe. It’s why some accidents result in prosecution.

Threatening people is meaningless. An accident is an accident. Nobody here forced the kid to eat candy or lied about it. Having nut candy is not illegal.

Who was threatened?

Having a car is not illegal— the accident happening where you leave your kid in it when it’s hot and they die can result in prosecution.

Having a pool is it illegal; pool owners are often sued for negligence when children (AND adults over the age to know better, which is higher than eleven) die in their pools.

And Disney is currently facing legal action for their response to a nut allergy of an adult physician who had the most opportunity possible to “know better”.

I realize you don’t like kids with allergies. That doesn’t mean you are allowed to put them in danger.

Pools are an attractive nuisance, allergens aren’t.

See what your homeowners insurance says when the kids health insurance sues you, which happens over much less negligence. Something tells me “bowl full of candy in a dark room with an eleven year old” is precisely going to meet the definition, especially since OP was well aware of the dangerous allergy.

By age 7/8 my allergy kid was advocating for himself. He knew to always ask before eating anything and was never shy about asking to see the box/wrapper to check the ingredients list himself. Before he was a good self-advocate, I always did a verbal reminder when dropping off with another parent. Also, for anyone with young kids with allergies, there are stickers you can buy on Amazon for pretty much every allergy. I used to stick them on my little kid's shirt (front & back) when doing a drop off playdate in addition to the verbal reminder. Those are especially helpful when it's a drop-off party at a play facility where multiple adults may be interacting with your kid without you there.

But at age 11? I think that was an overreaction on her part, IMO. The kid identified the food he couldn't have. He avoided. All was well. Maybe the mom needs to remind him that when those situations arise, don't be shy bringing it to the attention of the adult. "Oh, Mrs. Smith, I noticed these candy bars have nuts. I know not to eat those because of my allergy, but I'd like another snack. Do you have anything I could have, please?" That's a respectful and polite way to handle it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Even people whose toddlers drown say they don't let them play by the pool. But accidents happen. You don't seem to grasp that. You think if someone says "Got it!" nothing bad will happen.

Accidents happen, but there’s a difference between the idea that accidents happen and the idea that adults aren’t responsible for keeping children in their care safe. It’s why some accidents result in prosecution.

Threatening people is meaningless. An accident is an accident. Nobody here forced the kid to eat candy or lied about it. Having nut candy is not illegal.

Who was threatened?

Having a car is not illegal— the accident happening where you leave your kid in it when it’s hot and they die can result in prosecution.

Having a pool is it illegal; pool owners are often sued for negligence when children (AND adults over the age to know better, which is higher than eleven) die in their pools.

And Disney is currently facing legal action for their response to a nut allergy of an adult physician who had the most opportunity possible to “know better”.

I realize you don’t like kids with allergies. That doesn’t mean you are allowed to put them in danger.

Pools are an attractive nuisance, allergens aren’t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Even people whose toddlers drown say they don't let them play by the pool. But accidents happen. You don't seem to grasp that. You think if someone says "Got it!" nothing bad will happen.

Accidents happen, but there’s a difference between the idea that accidents happen and the idea that adults aren’t responsible for keeping children in their care safe. It’s why some accidents result in prosecution.

Threatening people is meaningless. An accident is an accident. Nobody here forced the kid to eat candy or lied about it. Having nut candy is not illegal.

Who was threatened?

Having a car is not illegal— the accident happening where you leave your kid in it when it’s hot and they die can result in prosecution.

Having a pool is it illegal; pool owners are often sued for negligence when children (AND adults over the age to know better, which is higher than eleven) die in their pools.

And Disney is currently facing legal action for their response to a nut allergy of an adult physician who had the most opportunity possible to “know better”.

I realize you don’t like kids with allergies. That doesn’t mean you are allowed to put them in danger.

Restaurants are not friends. You can’t be this dense.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Even people whose toddlers drown say they don't let them play by the pool. But accidents happen. You don't seem to grasp that. You think if someone says "Got it!" nothing bad will happen.

Accidents happen, but there’s a difference between the idea that accidents happen and the idea that adults aren’t responsible for keeping children in their care safe. It’s why some accidents result in prosecution.

Threatening people is meaningless. An accident is an accident. Nobody here forced the kid to eat candy or lied about it. Having nut candy is not illegal.

Who was threatened?

Having a car is not illegal— the accident happening where you leave your kid in it when it’s hot and they die can result in prosecution.

Having a pool is it illegal; pool owners are often sued for negligence when children (AND adults over the age to know better, which is higher than eleven) die in their pools.

And Disney is currently facing legal action for their response to a nut allergy of an adult physician who had the most opportunity possible to “know better”.

I realize you don’t like kids with allergies. That doesn’t mean you are allowed to put them in danger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Even people whose toddlers drown say they don't let them play by the pool. But accidents happen. You don't seem to grasp that. You think if someone says "Got it!" nothing bad will happen.

Accidents happen, but there’s a difference between the idea that accidents happen and the idea that adults aren’t responsible for keeping children in their care safe. It’s why some accidents result in prosecution.

Threatening people is meaningless. An accident is an accident. Nobody here forced the kid to eat candy or lied about it. Having nut candy is not illegal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Closing a pool gate when toddlers are around is not the same thing as a bowl of wrapped candy bars, some of which contain nuts, to a group of 11 year olds!

Parents who think the world is responsible for their kid with nut allergies would be better never leaving their side.

The world? No. The adults who voluntarily take responsibility for our children knowing they have serious allergies? Absolutely.

And yes, serving a bowl of candy with nuts to a kid with allergies is exactly as irresponsible as leaving a pool gate open when you’ve got toddlers around. Maybe it will be fine! And maybe it really won’t. And either way you have a dead child in your house with no one to blame but yourself.

11 year olds are not the same as toddlers.

So the doctor who visited Disneyworld, had a lengthy conversation with servers about her allergies, confirmed with them, then had an allergic reaction, administered her epi-pen and had paramedics on the scene, and then died of the allergy exposure was “acting like a toddler”?
https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/disney-world-food-allergy-death-lawsuit-long-island-doctor/

Or did negligence from the people who were supposed to keep her safe—the staff who talked with her and confirmed about allergens—fail?

In OPs story the mom nor the kid never checked with her to confirm the allergens in the food. Analogy fail.

This was a mom who knew about the allergy. Probably she’s told the other mom 100 times, “Of course, yes, I remember Timmy is allergic to nuts! I even bought blah blah blah…”

She knew and still forgot. Are you shocked? So your remind 101 times.

The thing that’s shocking is the effort to evade responsibility. Which means even if she’d been reminded, she’d be looking to blame anyone but herself.

Because her friend handled it badly. A friendly reminder and chat for something that wasn’t an emergency is appropriate.

She is trying to evade responsibility for the initial event— which means she wants someone to tell her it’s totally fine that she served a kid with allergies nuts because the kid didn’t come up and say hey why did you give me this, or the mom didn’t remind again. The moms
response is irrelevant— OP was wrong, needs to feel mortified and do better, not look around to see who she can blame.

I think you need to go back and reread the initial post, in which the OP states,

"I goofed. . . . In all the chaos, I totally spaced out when planning DS’s birthday party. . . . I was mortified, admitted I had been completely preoccupied lately and had simply forgotten his nut allergy since I hadn’t seen him in a while. I apologized profusely[.]"

Sounds to me like she takes responsibility.

One thing that has been lost in the (often ridiculous) back and forth is the reason for the irate text. From the OP, "The next day I got a nasty text from my friend, wondering why I had served candy with nuts when it was so upsetting to her son."

In other words, the friend wasn't afraid that her kid could have come to harm, but was angry that he was upset that others had nuts. That's ridiculous.

OP doesn’t say what the kid was upset about. My guess is he was upset to realize how close he came to an exposure, your guess is he was upset because he wanted to eat candy. Neither of us actually knows. OP probably doesn’t either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Even people whose toddlers drown say they don't let them play by the pool. But accidents happen. You don't seem to grasp that. You think if someone says "Got it!" nothing bad will happen.

Accidents happen, but there’s a difference between the idea that accidents happen and the idea that adults aren’t responsible for keeping children in their care safe. It’s why some accidents result in prosecution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Closing a pool gate when toddlers are around is not the same thing as a bowl of wrapped candy bars, some of which contain nuts, to a group of 11 year olds!

Parents who think the world is responsible for their kid with nut allergies would be better never leaving their side.

The world? No. The adults who voluntarily take responsibility for our children knowing they have serious allergies? Absolutely.

And yes, serving a bowl of candy with nuts to a kid with allergies is exactly as irresponsible as leaving a pool gate open when you’ve got toddlers around. Maybe it will be fine! And maybe it really won’t. And either way you have a dead child in your house with no one to blame but yourself.

11 year olds are not the same as toddlers.

So the doctor who visited Disneyworld, had a lengthy conversation with servers about her allergies, confirmed with them, then had an allergic reaction, administered her epi-pen and had paramedics on the scene, and then died of the allergy exposure was “acting like a toddler”?
https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/disney-world-food-allergy-death-lawsuit-long-island-doctor/

Or did negligence from the people who were supposed to keep her safe—the staff who talked with her and confirmed about allergens—fail?

In OPs story the mom nor the kid never checked with her to confirm the allergens in the food. Analogy fail.

This was a mom who knew about the allergy. Probably she’s told the other mom 100 times, “Of course, yes, I remember Timmy is allergic to nuts! I even bought blah blah blah…”

She knew and still forgot. Are you shocked? So your remind 101 times.

The thing that’s shocking is the effort to evade responsibility. Which means even if she’d been reminded, she’d be looking to blame anyone but herself.

Because her friend handled it badly. A friendly reminder and chat for something that wasn’t an emergency is appropriate.

She is trying to evade responsibility for the initial event— which means she wants someone to tell her it’s totally fine that she served a kid with allergies nuts because the kid didn’t come up and say hey why did you give me this, or the mom didn’t remind again. The moms
response is irrelevant— OP was wrong, needs to feel mortified and do better, not look around to see who she can blame.

I think you need to go back and reread the initial post, in which the OP states,

"I goofed. . . . In all the chaos, I totally spaced out when planning DS’s birthday party. . . . I was mortified, admitted I had been completely preoccupied lately and had simply forgotten his nut allergy since I hadn’t seen him in a while. I apologized profusely[.]"

Sounds to me like she takes responsibility.

One thing that has been lost in the (often ridiculous) back and forth is the reason for the irate text. From the OP, "The next day I got a nasty text from my friend, wondering why I had served candy with nuts when it was so upsetting to her son."

In other words, the friend wasn't afraid that her kid could have come to harm, but was angry that he was upset that others had nuts. That's ridiculous.

DP. I don’t think it’s ridiculous. Long time family friend at worst could have killed her kid and at best made him feel completely excluded from the festivities.

I don’t think OP is a bad person and obviously she didn’t do it on purpose, but I also don’t think friend’s “WTF, OP?” is out of line…

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Even people whose toddlers drown say they don't let them play by the pool. But accidents happen. You don't seem to grasp that. You think if someone says "Got it!" nothing bad will happen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much for it takes a community to raise a child.

Parents of kids with allergies cannot win. If we remind you, we are neurotic, annoying helicopter parents. If we don't, we have failed our kids. Our kids have to always be vigilant, because adults cannot be relied upon.

I wonder how many of you non-allergy parents have made excuses for your 11 year olds forgetting things (blah blah blah, he's still a kid). It's an endless double standard.

I taught my kids a long time ago to check everything or skip when in doubt, because no adults, even well-known ones, can be relied on. Sad, but true.

Never have I ever called up and berated my friend for letting my kid forget a water bottle, hoody, or anything else. Keep imagining fake scenarios that make you into a victim. How do you get through the day, it's a mystery!

Well, that's because none of those things can KILL YOU. You are a complete moron and, I'm sure, a shit friend. Buh bye.

Oh, hello. The onus is on you the one with the allergy, not everyone around you, to keep you safe. Sucks you have an allergy, but you already know this.

When you are a child, the onus is, in fact, actually on the adults responsible for your care to keep you safe. It’s strange how hard that is for you to grasp. Again do you let toddlers play unsupervised by the pool?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Closing a pool gate when toddlers are around is not the same thing as a bowl of wrapped candy bars, some of which contain nuts, to a group of 11 year olds!

Parents who think the world is responsible for their kid with nut allergies would be better never leaving their side.

The world? No. The adults who voluntarily take responsibility for our children knowing they have serious allergies? Absolutely.

And yes, serving a bowl of candy with nuts to a kid with allergies is exactly as irresponsible as leaving a pool gate open when you’ve got toddlers around. Maybe it will be fine! And maybe it really won’t. And either way you have a dead child in your house with no one to blame but yourself.

11 year olds are not the same as toddlers.

So the doctor who visited Disneyworld, had a lengthy conversation with servers about her allergies, confirmed with them, then had an allergic reaction, administered her epi-pen and had paramedics on the scene, and then died of the allergy exposure was “acting like a toddler”?
https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/disney-world-food-allergy-death-lawsuit-long-island-doctor/

Or did negligence from the people who were supposed to keep her safe—the staff who talked with her and confirmed about allergens—fail?

In OPs story the mom nor the kid never checked with her to confirm the allergens in the food. Analogy fail.

This was a mom who knew about the allergy. Probably she’s told the other mom 100 times, “Of course, yes, I remember Timmy is allergic to nuts! I even bought blah blah blah…”

She knew and still forgot. Are you shocked? So your remind 101 times.

The thing that’s shocking is the effort to evade responsibility. Which means even if she’d been reminded, she’d be looking to blame anyone but herself.

Because her friend handled it badly. A friendly reminder and chat for something that wasn’t an emergency is appropriate.

She is trying to evade responsibility for the initial event— which means she wants someone to tell her it’s totally fine that she served a kid with allergies nuts because the kid didn’t come up and say hey why did you give me this, or the mom didn’t remind again. The moms
response is irrelevant— OP was wrong, needs to feel mortified and do better, not look around to see who she can blame.

I think you need to go back and reread the initial post, in which the OP states,

"I goofed. . . . In all the chaos, I totally spaced out when planning DS’s birthday party. . . . I was mortified, admitted I had been completely preoccupied lately and had simply forgotten his nut allergy since I hadn’t seen him in a while. I apologized profusely[.]"

Sounds to me like she takes responsibility.

One thing that has been lost in the (often ridiculous) back and forth is the reason for the irate text. From the OP, "The next day I got a nasty text from my friend, wondering why I had served candy with nuts when it was so upsetting to her son."

In other words, the friend wasn't afraid that her kid could have come to harm, but was angry that he was upset that others had nuts. That's ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people are missing the candy was in a bag mixed in with some candies with nuts and some without handed out WHILE the kids were watching a movie. That is an easy time for a kid to let their guard down. You are engrossed in a movie you eat a plain chocolate candy think the bag is all plain chocolate and absentmindedly grab another one and eat it not realizing it has nuts.

Agreed. And eleven year old should read labels and have their epi pen etc etc., but they are still very much a kid.
OP made a mistake in that it was a dicey situation that could have easily been avoided. Maybe the other mom could have handled it better, but the OP needs to stop making excuses for herself.

She. Apologized. But the other mother wants a pound of flesh. I'd be done with that mom and kid. Too much trouble, too much entitlement.

No. Read the OP. She “goofed”. Other mother called her on it in what she claims was a nasty txt. She apologized. Apparently it is all smoothed over. Other mom has moved on - no evidence of pound of flesh. But then she comes on here and explains how the mom was nasty, how she is a bit neurotic, etc.

So who is the drama queen exactly?

The person who sent the nasty text. Please try to keep up.