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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When drunk Polish men accosted me in the subway, ranting in Polish (which happened nearly weekly for years), when black kids in Flatbush called me Dutch girl, when the kids in my elementary school classroom wanted to touch my hair, when my friends German wife repeatedly told me I looked so German she couldn't believe I wasn't from there, I did not consider these things microaggressions, or anything more than a person encountering another person with a definitive phenotype and assuming they knew more than they did. Them all being wrong on all counts did me no harm.

A man telling your kid "thank you" in Chinese is not racist. It is his attempt to bridge what he perceived as a cultural divide. Is it wrong? Sure, but would you prefer he was afraid to speak at all? Would you prefer to be politely ignored?

Why couldn't you just say, sorry, we're Korean, actually, and teach him the phrase? Or not teach him the phrase? Do you know what it's like being a western-European-lookong person in Japan? Do think there aren't "microaggressions?"

One important facet of communication is gleaning intent. Sometimes that goes beyond what's said. You and your child will be a lot happier if you don't search every conversation for some implied offense
[/quote]

It is racist bc he decided guessing Chinese and speaking it to an American kid of Asian descent was good enough. It is a way of othering someone. If you are called Dutch girl and that’s the worst thing - well you probably don’t get many actual micro aggressions in every day life due to your looking Northern European.  Someone whose biggest problem is looking German in America, and German descent is the second largest country of descent for white Americans beyond UK, doesn’t have the right to tell someone they can’t feel how they feel.  You don’t live the same life here.  OP has probably forgotten about this thread but just wanted to vent.  Why can’t she? How many posts are there right now that are forgettable vents?  Eg, my kids friend messed up my husband’s expensive speaker, my SIL is controlling, private school kids get into better colleges.  [/quote]

The OP should never try visiting other countries that are used to seeing mostly Chinese businessmen. They will be called Chinese from the get go no matter what Asian they are.[/quote]

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