Anonymous
Post 01/01/2024 05:05     Subject: Casual Racism
Someone told me tonight that my eye makeup was cultural appropriation.
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2024 04:06     Subject: Casual Racism
This has to be a troll
Anonymous
Post 01/01/2024 04:01     Subject: Casual Racism
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When drunk Polish men accosted me in the subway, ranting in Polish (which happened nearly weekly for years), when black kids in Flatbush called me Dutch girl, when the kids in my elementary school classroom wanted to touch my hair, when my friends German wife repeatedly told me I looked so German she couldn't believe I wasn't from there, I did not consider these things microaggressions, or anything more than a person encountering another person with a definitive phenotype and assuming they knew more than they did. Them all being wrong on all counts did me no harm.

A man telling your kid "thank you" in Chinese is not racist. It is his attempt to bridge what he perceived as a cultural divide. Is it wrong? Sure, but would you prefer he was afraid to speak at all? Would you prefer to be politely ignored?

Why couldn't you just say, sorry, we're Korean, actually, and teach him the phrase? Or not teach him the phrase? Do you know what it's like being a western-European-lookong person in Japan? Do think there aren't "microaggressions?"

One important facet of communication is gleaning intent. Sometimes that goes beyond what's said. You and your child will be a lot happier if you don't search every conversation for some implied offense


It is racist bc he decided guessing Chinese and speaking it to an American kid of Asian descent was good enough. It is a way of othering someone. If you are called Dutch girl and that’s the worst thing - well you probably don’t get many actual micro aggressions in every day life due to your looking Northern European. Someone whose biggest problem is looking German in America, and German descent is the second largest country of descent for white Americans beyond UK, doesn’t have the right to tell someone they can’t feel how they feel. You don’t live the same life here. OP has probably forgotten about this thread but just wanted to vent. Why can’t she? How many posts are there right now that are forgettable vents? Eg, my kids friend messed up my husband’s expensive speaker, my SIL is controlling, private school kids get into better colleges.


The OP should never try visiting other countries that are used to seeing mostly Chinese businessmen. They will be called Chinese from the get go no matter what Asian they are.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 23:22     Subject: Casual Racism

BTW Asians are very bad in general identifying white peoples nationalities too. That’s not racism.

I worked with several Asian people years ago and we had this discussion. I asked what am I they said white. I was like I am Irish, my wife German, Bob is Polish his wife Italian, Dave is Jewish and our big boss is English and that guy is Australian and not even American as not a citizen yet.

It is as if they think White is a Nationality. I blew their mind when I told them Grant from our external auditor is from South Africa and is white.

My parents are born in Ireland my wife’s parents born in Germany but to most Asians I am white.

My friend is Japanese her father is English her mother Japanese and she was born and raised in Japan. She is not a US Citizen. When she went to NYU no one believed she was Japanese. Or they call her AmerAsian or American but she is not American. We had a crazy discussion with a Japanese business man she can’t be Japanese as speaks perfect English. She responded I an an English major at NYU. He bet us a round she could not prove it she whips out her IPhone clicks YouTube and she was a pretty famous Japanese Game show hostess and had a picture of her with Empress of Japan. He got us very drunk. He remembered her show.

Is any of this racist? No.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 22:27     Subject: Re:Casual Racism
Chinese here.
When I am in Asia, I am treated differently. The air hostess will say thank you and good-bye to the passengers in Mandarin, but say it in English to me.
A cab driver thought I was Singaporean because of my accent. Another thought I was a great target to fleece because I wasn't a local.
In Chinatown here in the US, I can hear the shop ladies call me an ABC.

I actually think it is abjectly sad to be treated as 'other' by people of one's own background.
Americans are generally polite about it and what's hilarious is that going out of one's way to demonstrate cultural sensitivity is considered a micro-agression (as in OP's first example of the of the mis-directed 'xie-xie').
In Asia, it is very direct, there is no polite veneer to any of it.

OP should teach her child to respond to any 'Xie-Xie' with "Bitte schon, mein Herr".
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 22:10     Subject: Casual Racism
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not a contest but I feel like the anti-Black casual racism I face is just so much more offensive and undeniable. Someone trying to be nice and speak to me in my own language but guessing my nationality wrong is simply not a sign of deep hatred. People thinking you smell because it totally seems that a smell is coming right from you might not have anything to do your nationality. I never, ever thought I would question someone else’s claim to experiencing micro aggressions, but these examples…I don’t know.


But it’s not the kid’s “own language.” The kid’s own language is English because he’s American. His nationality is also American.


But he thought it was. He does not have the same information inside his head as you have inside your head. And the mistake he made was not that much of a leap. This is DC where a lot of people wish to raise their children to be bilingual. If I think of my closest neighbors with children, 4/5 of the families are raising their children with their parents’ first language (2 Spanish, 1 Vietnamese, 1 Korean) and English. It is not at all unusual to meet a child who speaks another language. This is not remotely difficult to understand. You cannot take another person’s perspective? You can’t be logical? You are not a victim. People make mistakes.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 21:53     Subject: Casual Racism
Anonymous wrote:I think people have lost all grasp on what racism is. Racism isn’t mistaking a Korean for Chinese and speaking to them in an incorrect language due to a careless assumption. Get a grip.


+10000000000000000000
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 21:45     Subject: Casual Racism
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not a contest but I feel like the anti-Black casual racism I face is just so much more offensive and undeniable. Someone trying to be nice and speak to me in my own language but guessing my nationality wrong is simply not a sign of deep hatred. People thinking you smell because it totally seems that a smell is coming right from you might not have anything to do your nationality. I never, ever thought I would question someone else’s claim to experiencing micro aggressions, but these examples…I don’t know.


But it’s not the kid’s “own language.” The kid’s own language is English because he’s American. His nationality is also American.


Doubt it. You know he’s some sort of hyphenated American. Not like those boring non descript Americans.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 21:43     Subject: Casual Racism
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.


It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.


Oh for Pete's sake. I have been asked if I'm a different brand of white than I am. I freak out and tell them that they are racist for not being able to distinguish Slavic and Scandinavian phenotypes. And if I had, they would have rightly called me a nut job.

When southerners say y'all, do you snap back that they are in "you guys" land? Get a grip.


If you don’t see how your situation is different from that of a racial minority, I don’t know what to tell you.


Sorry, you're not special. Sometimes in the elevator you might get the look if the people getting on after think it was you who farted. They don't care what percentage of the demographic you are.


No. I’m not special—I’m white. But someone calling out my whiteness affects me not one jot, because white is the predominant race here in the US. Calling out someone’s minority status is not only racist, it’s rude. Do you also say Shalom to people you think are Jewish? If so, please stop.


Hilarious! Actually people say Shalom to me all the time because I have an ambiguous last name but am not Jewish. Never cared one time.


If that is true, it’s super weird and you live among some very socially awkward people, at best.


Newsflash: people are weird. All the time. Are you brand new?


Are they all weird in racially inappropriate ways?


Were you born yesterday? Lock your doors at night?


You sure do ask a lot of irrelevant questions. I’m concerned you’re under the mistaken impression it makes you look intelligent or worldly.


So you have no reasonable response. Just here to complain.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 21:13     Subject: Casual Racism
I think people have lost all grasp on what racism is. Racism isn’t mistaking a Korean for Chinese and speaking to them in an incorrect language due to a careless assumption. Get a grip.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 21:01     Subject: Casual Racism
Anonymous wrote:I know it’s not a contest but I feel like the anti-Black casual racism I face is just so much more offensive and undeniable. Someone trying to be nice and speak to me in my own language but guessing my nationality wrong is simply not a sign of deep hatred. People thinking you smell because it totally seems that a smell is coming right from you might not have anything to do your nationality. I never, ever thought I would question someone else’s claim to experiencing micro aggressions, but these examples…I don’t know.


But it’s not the kid’s “own language.” The kid’s own language is English because he’s American. His nationality is also American.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 20:59     Subject: Casual Racism
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When drunk Polish men accosted me in the subway, ranting in Polish (which happened nearly weekly for years), when black kids in Flatbush called me Dutch girl, when the kids in my elementary school classroom wanted to touch my hair, when my friends German wife repeatedly told me I looked so German she couldn't believe I wasn't from there, I did not consider these things microaggressions, or anything more than a person encountering another person with a definitive phenotype and assuming they knew more than they did. Them all being wrong on all counts did me no harm.

A man telling your kid "thank you" in Chinese is not racist. It is his attempt to bridge what he perceived as a cultural divide. Is it wrong? Sure, but would you prefer he was afraid to speak at all? Would you prefer to be politely ignored?

Why couldn't you just say, sorry, we're Korean, actually, and teach him the phrase? Or not teach him the phrase? Do you know what it's like being a western-European-lookong person in Japan? Do think there aren't "microaggressions?"

One important facet of communication is gleaning intent. Sometimes that goes beyond what's said. You and your child will be a lot happier if you don't search every conversation for some implied offense


It is racist bc he decided guessing Chinese and speaking it to an American kid of Asian descent was good enough. It is a way of othering someone. If you are called Dutch girl and that’s the worst thing - well you probably don’t get many actual micro aggressions in every day life due to your looking Northern European. Someone whose biggest problem is looking German in America, and German descent is the second largest country of descent for white Americans beyond UK, doesn’t have the right to tell someone they can’t feel how they feel. You don’t live the same life here. OP has probably forgotten about this thread but just wanted to vent. Why can’t she? How many posts are there right now that are forgettable vents? Eg, my kids friend messed up my husband’s expensive speaker, my SIL is controlling, private school kids get into better colleges.


I did not grow up or live in white neighborhoods for most of my life. You can judge me and my family for not keeping to our kind if you want, but I've been stereotyped and been in the minority appesrance-wise in nearly every professional and social setting for decades.

You can still say it's not the same, and I wouldn't argue because I don't live your life.

But you also don't live mine, so don't tell me what it means, or how I am supposed to be.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 20:42     Subject: Casual Racism
I know it’s not a contest but I feel like the anti-Black casual racism I face is just so much more offensive and undeniable. Someone trying to be nice and speak to me in my own language but guessing my nationality wrong is simply not a sign of deep hatred. People thinking you smell because it totally seems that a smell is coming right from you might not have anything to do your nationality. I never, ever thought I would question someone else’s claim to experiencing micro aggressions, but these examples…I don’t know.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 20:40     Subject: Casual Racism
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.


It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.


Oh for Pete's sake. I have been asked if I'm a different brand of white than I am. I freak out and tell them that they are racist for not being able to distinguish Slavic and Scandinavian phenotypes. And if I had, they would have rightly called me a nut job.

When southerners say y'all, do you snap back that they are in "you guys" land? Get a grip.


If you don’t see how your situation is different from that of a racial minority, I don’t know what to tell you.


Sorry, you're not special. Sometimes in the elevator you might get the look if the people getting on after think it was you who farted. They don't care what percentage of the demographic you are.


No. I’m not special—I’m white. But someone calling out my whiteness affects me not one jot, because white is the predominant race here in the US. Calling out someone’s minority status is not only racist, it’s rude. Do you also say Shalom to people you think are Jewish? If so, please stop.


Hilarious! Actually people say Shalom to me all the time because I have an ambiguous last name but am not Jewish. Never cared one time.


If that is true, it’s super weird and you live among some very socially awkward people, at best.


Newsflash: people are weird. All the time. Are you brand new?


Are they all weird in racially inappropriate ways?


Were you born yesterday? Lock your doors at night?


You sure do ask a lot of irrelevant questions. I’m concerned you’re under the mistaken impression it makes you look intelligent or worldly.
Anonymous
Post 12/31/2023 20:32     Subject: Casual Racism
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.


It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.


The Imperial Han Chinese invaded so many other countries how are they to tell you're not one of them?