Reply to "I won't date someone whose parents are divorced"

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Reply to ""I won't date someone whose parents are divorced""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Is this an OK standard to have?

My fiance told me he would never date a woman with divorced parents. He said it normalizes divorce, they grow up in a home where marriage is temporary, and in a lot of cases they no longer have a father. I think I agree with him, but it seems kind of mean to dismiss people based on their parents' actions. [/quote]

I wouldn’t go as far as saying I’d never date someone with divorced parents. But it’s definitely a strike against them if they do…..or, to put it more positively, it’s a huge +1 in the “pros” category if their parents are still married.

Why? Because I DO think divorce is a bad thing, particularly when there are kids involved, and that a lot of people jump to it much too quickly these days. (I’m not saying it’s never ever the right thing… but I guess I’d also have hesitancies about dating someone who grew up in abusive household / with an alcoholic parent / etc, so…)  
IME there is something inherent you gain from having watched your parents survive a long term marriage - go through hard times, but stay committed and stay together, and come through stronger on the other side. Anecdotally, I grew up Catholic and the vaaast majority of my childhood friends’ parents are still married. In my mid-40s now and there’s a serious and very noticeable contrast between the divorce rate in this group of friends (virtually zero) and other friends. I personally feel that there is something to be said for going into a marriage with the attitude that - barring VERY extenuating circumstances - divorce is not an option.

All that said, I’m not saying I would immediately rule somebody out for it. Just that, again, it’d be a strike against them…or a huge plus FOR them if their parents are still together [/quote]

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