Reply to Why don’t more parents understand that adult kids have leverage nowadays to cut off contact, and

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[quote=Anonymous]My boomer parents are nothing like my grandparents.  They are straight up jerks and make zero effort with my kid.  My mother can’t be bothered to take time off of her busy vacation schedule to stop by for a birthday.  Not one in 12 years. They don’t even call.  They have nothing to do, are well into retirement and it’s like they think they’re holding court and the peasants need to prostrate themselves before them to even be acknowledged. I think they babysat for us once?

And don’t give me any crap about being a better daughter to them.  My entire life has been set on a path dictated by them and I have had to work extremely hard to accept where it put me and move on, independently. They don’t see me as a person with her own needs and never did.  Always always about them.  And now it’s about me.  Funny how that works out.

At least I have the awareness and empathy for my own child that they lacked. It hurts me to see my son hurt, I want him to be happy in life and if that means he makes choices I wouldn’t, that is 100% fine with me as long as he’s not hurting anyone. They never have a crap about my feelings.  If I was upset about anything it was always my fault.  If I didn’t meet their expectations, there was always a threat. And it wasn’t bluffing.  They’ve proven to be extremely mean and vindictive in old age, just like they were when I was living with them.

So I dont know why they don’t get that their adult children have more leverage over them than they do over us now.  Maybe they need therapy to figure it out.  Meanwhile I’ll be living my life without them interfering.[/quote]

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