Reply to Why don’t more parents understand that adult kids have leverage nowadays to cut off contact, and

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Growing up, my mom was emotionally abusive to me.  I learned to look elsewhere (and primarily within) to fulfill my emotional needs.

I started working at 16 and haven’t stopped. My mom never gave me a penny as an adult, which was fine - I love that I support myself.

When I had kids, my mom never babysat or offered any assistance. No problem - I created a village with DH, friends and paid caregivers.

As a result of my mom’s emotional, financial and physica unavailability, I have become self sufficient and independent. I don’t need anything from her. However, it also means there’s nothing tying me to my mom. About two years ago, my mom said something particularly cruel to me over the phone. I hung up on her. She has never reached out since, nor have I. It has made absolutely no difference in my life.

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Phew!! Glad for you that you created a good family for yourself. I feel similarly, I became very self sufficient and very independent, and now I understand I have to back off of that stance, not in regard to my family of origin, but in regard to my present relationships. I am unable to ask for help. Unable to understand that someone might help me. Unable to accept I won't be slandered by asking for help. It's OK, I get therapy and these realizations come along. Thanks for your post, it helped me realize the above. Also, I am cut off from my mom for 6 years now. Good decision for me but heartbreaking,. I did it many years after she showed me she did not care about me, my survival, my interests, my life.[/quote]

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