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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  DH's brother will never live with us.  I asked DH early in our relationship if he would ever live with us and he emphatically said no.  If he had said yes, I would have ended the relationship.  Even if DH didn't have a family I'm sure he wouldn't have his brother living with him. The brother is a big guy and is volatile with violent episodes.  Once he grabbed me inappropriately and DH had to yell at him to get off of me.  No way I would have him living in my house with me and my kids and face potential assault.

DH thinks his brother would probably get kicked out of a group home due to outbursts and violence.  His mother has chronically undermedicated him (part of the denial) so maybe if he were properly medicated the odds of the violence would decrease.  He also thinks he can't handle living alone.  DH's mother could certainly leave him her house but I don't think he could handle a large suburban house and possibly not even an apartment.  So there's no clear answer to where he would live.

The brother could easily have assets of $1.5-2 million when the mother dies.  I would think that + social security would be sufficient for one person with no dependents who never goes anywhere, but DH thinks that his brother will be preyed upon and end up with nothing.

I do not currently work.  We had a baby early in the pandemic + an older child so I had to stop.  I am currently looking for a job.  [b]DH is in a higher paying field, and I have always done the majority of the childcare and household management[/b].  I don't think he begrudges me not currently working as he knows it would have been impossible to maintain his job with both kids home during the pandemic  + quarantine issues.

I think the advice to just use marital assets on buying the new house is probably right.  I do think it's possible that in 20 years we'll be sitting on a pile of money and thinking we should have spent a little of it to to enjoy a nicer family house while our kids were still at home.  [/quote]

Of COURSE you don’t work. And BTW, paid childcare was only unavailable in 2020. It’s now 2023. You staying home for three years wasn’t because you “had to.”

And now you’re demanding he give you his inheritance to buy a bigger, fancier house. Disgusting.[/quote]

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